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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

i want to end my marriage

13 replies

nolongerinlove · 17/12/2011 03:27

there is no problems, but i just do not love him no more.

how do i break his heart when every thing appears perfect

OP posts:
maras2 · 17/12/2011 03:30

Hi Nolonger.How long have you been married?

Original poster
nolongerinlove · 17/12/2011 03:32

7 months, i thought it would make a diffrence.

OP posts:
izzywhizzysmincepies · 17/12/2011 03:34

What makes you think you're going to break his heart by announcing that your marriage is over?

How do you know he won't be equally relieved to be free of you?

maras2 · 17/12/2011 03:34

Why would it?How long together?(nosey cow me)

Original poster
nolongerinlove · 17/12/2011 03:37

been together 10 years

OP posts:
maras2 · 17/12/2011 03:42

Allways the optomist,I'm sure things will seem better tomorrow.

Original poster
nolongerinlove · 17/12/2011 03:48

i doubt it, been feeling like this for a while, i do care for my husband but i just do not love him

OP posts:
ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow · 17/12/2011 08:58

Well, if this is what you really truly want, then there is no way not to hurt him when you inform him it's over: there is no way to couch such a thing to make it hurt less. You are just going to have to accept that your decision is going to hurt somebody that you care about.

Conflugenglugen · 17/12/2011 15:15

I agree with ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow. It sounds like you married because you were hoping things would change. They haven't; marriage can't do that. You can either stay in an unhappy relationship, or set both of you free to find people you do love, and who love you. Best of luck!

Plecostomus · 17/12/2011 16:03

Marriage does change a relationship, it happened to me twice. The first time it made a bad relationship worse, the second time it made a good relationship even better.

LadyMedea · 17/12/2011 16:36

I suggest before you do anything go and get some individual counselling. relate work with individuals or just google counselling in your area. It sounds like you still care for and respect your DP for 10 years, so you really owe it to both of you to do some digging as to why you dont feel right.

Feeling in love does come and go. Don't jump before you've done some reflection. If after that you still think its the right thing to do then you'll probably be able to better explain things to your other half and therefore have a better split.

Sassybeast · 17/12/2011 18:51

If you've both put your heart and soul into trying to address the issues in your marriage, if you've talked til there is nothing more to say, if you've been to counselling together and on your own and tried to improve things and none of that has worked, then yeah - maybe you need to walk away.
But until you've done all that, and if there has been no violence or abuse, then you may regret walking away too easily.
Do you have children ? Of course you shouldn't stay ina relationship for the sake of the kids BUT you owe it to them to give 100% to trying to fix things.

Original poster
nolongerinlove · 18/12/2011 07:39

thanks for taking the time to reply, I think we will try relate. There isn't really any problems.

i think it is the lack of time we spend together. My husband is always working and i feel like i am on my own.

OP posts:
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