Why does he lie about this? And why do I care?

[MrsJangleBalls]

Just caught dh looking at naked women on tv. Again. One of those channels where some daft cow writhes around with a phone in her hand waiting for someone stupid enough to dial the premium rate number. It's not exactly porn, but still annoying.

Anyway, he flicks over and acts all innocent and pretends he was just flicking round the channels. Oh, and I just happened to catch you on that one did I? Riiiiight....

Why lie about it? I've caught you so many times! Why keep treating me like some fucking idiot? Why can't you just laugh and admit it? It's hardly the end of the world.

Why can't you be honest? Are you hiding anything else?

I've just asked him all that and still got the idiot response. It infuriates me that he can't be a man and say yep, I was watching, what about it? Why lie? What's the big deal?

AF: My point was more not wanting yet another thread to be sidetracked into a porn frenzy when what appears to be intermittent use of mild softcore porn is clearly NOT the biggest problem in the relationship.
And I really do think that more people ought to be aware of financial abuse being a red flag...

Financial abuse isn't just a red flag, it is abuse :(

she never said the porn was the issue - she said being lied to, to her face, when the evidence was right there was the issue.

so whilst looking at titties on tv might seem trivial to some being lied to and blatantly gaslighted because you know and he knows he's lying is not trivial and likely to be an indicator that there is more going on in the situation than a bit of porn use.

The good news is that the most he can do is lech and those tarts on telly. Hardly cheating. At most he might fantasise about those girls while making love to you. The bad news is that this could easily lead to something else. He will start thinking the ideal woman is the one that is on those channels with heavy make up on and fantastic ( artificial ) boobs and a round firm ass. That will be the time he will look elsewhere.

The porn wouldnt bother me at all. It is the fact that he is controlling over money that would bother me. That IS financial abuse.
Hey if money is such a big worry to him OP then why dont you suggest to him that you do a little sideline to earn more money such as sex chatline work or even something else!!!!! He cant really object as
A. Hes the one being controlling over money and this will mean you have more.
B. He would be a steaming great hypocrite if he tried to stop you because the women hes been watching will be someones wife/daughter/sister too!!!!!

The man is a control freak by the sound of it.

As for the porn side of it, I've never been out with a man that has to have this as a "guilty" secret, smacks of nastiness to be honest.

OP doesn't sound like she has much of a "voice" in this relationship.

He's wrong and fucked up.

He's a grown man...an adult, not a child or a teenager.

If he chooses to watch porn of his own free will then that is his choice.

He's watching it in private, not rubbing your face in it and as others have said, he's obviously trying to do this without your knowledge because YOU disapprove of it.

Does he try to control what you watch in your spare time?