Opinions please..I could throttle him!!!!!

[liverLadyLass]

Am I being an arse?
Just came bk up from a relatives funeral down south, my kids are very unwell when I get bk, high fevers, being sick, coughs etc,, know I haven't slept in two nights since I came bk home due to them both being ill,my DH has slept in our bed and I said I would sleep in the spare room so he can get a good sleep for work,,I end up on the floor in my youngest, then on my eldests floor and bk and forth all night,both nights,I'm jacketed and my back is killing me. then I find out that we are getting visitors staying with us by my mil, for the weekend, the house is upside down, both kids are sick,I'm exhausted, and I was only told this late this afternoon, am I being an arse by asking him to help me with his family to entertain them? It's ended into a massive argument,as I feel I'm just expected to just get on with it!! I'm so fucking angry and upset with him not telling me but he says he didn't know much about it either, but he does this all the time, not telling me things then I'm left running around like an idiot,I've lost my temper coz im tired and mostly because the kids are ill and i don't have the energy to entertain let alone get this whole house and shopping done before tomorrow, but his words were‘ well why didn't I get the house done today, I mean why didn't you? I could of decked him,obviously I won't, am I being an arse? N over reacting?

Visitors can stay in a travel lodge. Phone MIL and tell her kids have got norovirus and it is very very infectious. This may well be true, it is going round ATM and is really nasty.

Then you need to consider your other problems with you H as it sounds like an awful situation.

Thanks.. I have done, I'm staying were I am,I have learned they are just going to pop in and visit tomorrow instead know, so relieved at that,, I'm still very angry he didn't give us a thought tho, and DH has issues with me. which need addressing, I'm just glad I wasn't seen as being an arse and that I'm not a bad person as I'm to exhausted to entertain,, so thank you guys... He's gone back to work after a long moan at each other,

Sorry you are having such an exhausting time with sick DC LLL and well done for getting across to your DH that his inconsiderate behaviour is not on.

Is he usually Passive Aggressive? Does he agree to stuff with his family and "forget" to tell you because he doesn't like to upset anybody? Is he often late? Does he forget important things because he is too busy? While claiming to love you all along and wish he had more time?

I wonder if this situation is a one off explosion at a stressful time for both off you with sick kids, busy time of year and pressure of money/work, or whether it is part of a bigger problem.

What do you think? Would a good night's sleep a cuddle and a sorry make things right?

Yes, I think so, I think maybe know I'm calm you could be onto something and were both to up the wall to see,? see what is causing this,,

Thank you for your support ladies much appreciated

You need to ask what he does, is the business doing okay financialy, if not for the stress he carries you wouldn't have a roof over your heads.

He done the wrong thing inviting people, but it was bad timing, however it is his house too.

THe financial side you have to take more interest in, if the business is not doing good you have to make cut backs not spend and assume it is there.

Its hard running your own business and causes heart attacks in men, he carries the burden of this.

I don't spend anything unless I ask him first,I don't do anything for myself ie the gym, seeing friends etc the business is quiet but building up,I've offered to do book keeping and accounts but he says it would take to long to show me, he's also said it will cost us more money if I were to work, I know it's hard work running a business that's why I constantly worry about his stress levels and argue that he does not get enough him time, he goes the gym twice a week and works and I take care of the kids and house, we work as a team normally, I asked him because I hadn't slept in three nights, when his family comes could he be here to help entertain and I got a mouthful.

How would it cost the family more money if you were to do his book-keeping? That sounds a bit daft (though to be fair, if you know nothing about book-keeping and his business finances are complicated, it could be a bit risky for you to take it over as mistakes in that department can be expensive).
It sounds to me as though he's a bit too keen on the idea of you as Wife ie uncomplianing domestic support system with no initiative or role outside housework and childcare.