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Original poster

On a different subject,,,

13 replies

skettle · 09/01/2006 23:50

Thanks for all the replies on my other thread... I know it seems like I dont take any notice but I am, Its good to know Im not alone in thinking the way I do.

This time I really dont know if Im expecting too much... I dont like to be 'smothered' but sometimes a little bit of 'human touch' is needed... thing is, my partner knows that I suffer from tension headaches and chronic daily headache...the doctor said I can relieve this (and maybe even stop it) by changing my sleeping position and having a massage around my shoulders/neck and scalp. My partner refuses to do any of this Is it expecting too much expecting him to do it once or twice? just whilst we're in bed etc? The only time he's any kind of 'hands on' is when he wants sex my ex was a bit of an arse but even he used to massage me (which I would return the favour!) ... for my headaches and just for general 'niceness'.

Be honest, am I clutching at straws and expecting too much with this one? it does upset me that he cant even be bothered to do that.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 09/01/2006 23:52

Skettle, what more proof do you need that he's TOTALLY selfish?

flutterbee · 09/01/2006 23:54

Sounds like selfish pig to me

Dropinthe · 09/01/2006 23:54

Ditch the dirt!!!

Caligula · 09/01/2006 23:56

Nope, it's not too much to expect.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 09/01/2006 23:57

In the style of Custardo:

Just dump the good for nothing f*cker.

He is a lazy selfish c*nt who thinks of no-one but himself.

Chances are, your tension headaches are brought on by him in the first place.

Original poster
skettle · 09/01/2006 23:58

Ive changed my sleeping position and it has worked wonders but sometimes the odd massage would be nice you know? Everytime I tell him I have a headache he just says "oh" and turns away as if Im a hypocondriact. He wonders why I have no sex drive but sometimes it seems that that's all he wants and it does put me off big time.

Apart from that he treats me like his mother, if he buys something new he just chucks the packaging on the floor for me to tidy up, Im sure the reason Im off sex is because I dont feel 'loved' enough.. I know how stupid that sounds but he seems to think I should be happy with never ending material gifts for me and the kids...he just doesnt get it

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 09/01/2006 23:59

Skettle, you need a plan. How are you going to dump him? When will he know by? Sort it out, now. And then get yourself a haircut, a facial and a new outfit.

soapbox · 10/01/2006 00:01

'he seems to think I should be happy with never ending material gifts for me and the kids...'

Is this a different arse from the one you've been posting about on all the other threads?

Because you certainly haven't given the impression that he's been showering you with lots of material gifts, or the kids - unless you count giving them the occaisional 'crack'.

Honestly, words fail me, but Custardo's will do!

Original poster
skettle · 10/01/2006 00:05

I mentioned that on the money threads, he does spend quite a bit of money on us...infact everytime he has money he spends it instantly whether it be on us or himself. Half of his problem is that he just cannot handle money...for instance he used to come down with a load of gifts (none of which I asked him to buy) but would then have no money for the weekend so I would end up having to pay for his take-aways, drinks etc.

He's stopped that now but still buys us stuff if he has any money on him. This is its not materialistic gifts I want, its a bit of respect and a normal relationship

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 10/01/2006 00:28

Have you told him that?

Don't think you'll get a normal relationship with him. He's got to go through puberty (figuratively speaking) first.

colditz · 10/01/2006 01:21

Skettle please please please get rid before you get too attached, befor eyou have a baby with him, before you commit to him bugstyle.

I do believe my dp has another life and another woman, and from your description, it is you.

I have been involved in a 5 year slog to get my p to grow up and stop being selfish, and I have learned one thing - it is asking too much.

I was stupid. I had a baby with my partner, and said baby is now nearly 3 and knows and loves daddy. I am going to have a hard time leaving him, because I can never say I did it for my child.

I am even more stupid, because I am pregnant again, so very vulnerable to my partner's appaling attitude to his family and his finances.

I was stupid to get a joint tenancy with him. I was stupid to trust him to pay some bills. I was stupid to expect him to contribute in any way towards holidays, clothes, furniture, electrical goods.

I was stupid to trust him not to get loans with loan companies behind my back. He promised to stop doing this a year ago - he has had 3 loans since then. He can't pay them back because he has spent all his money 2 days after it arrives in his account.

I now possess his bank card. I take responsibilty for everything. I will still be directing the finances from the childbed when I go into labour. That's how irresponsible he is.

I never get a massage either, by the way.

I know my experience has tainted my opinions, but skettle, your posts ring so many bells with me....

ravenfern · 10/01/2006 01:39

Hi skettle, me again, first of all if i stick my foot in the direction of my DP and wiggle my toes he gives me foot rubby, for no reason other than i asked, if yours can't give you a rub when you are in pain then, the next time he has a tension problem iyswim i would give him some tissues and tell him to take care of it himself.(sorry to be crude)
On a more helpful note superdrug sell lavender sticks called cooling ice sticks, if you rub some on your temples it might help your headache.

colditz · 10/01/2006 01:43

Skettle, having read your other thread I will just add that if my partner ever raised his hand to my child I would hit him with my rolling pin. And my partner is my child's father.

This man is openly abusive and you haven't been seeing him very long. Can you imagine what he is going to be like in 5 years time?

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