Well, yes i agree, which is why i have had to drop my standards and just do the parts i want to do. And not sweat the piles of clothes/shoes in the middle of the floor.
When we were first together i was made redundant after a month, i was unemployed for a year then got part time temp work. He paid all the bills and i was at home so i did everything - as my contribution.
However, i have been in full time work since August and now the house is a right mess. I resent doing it all so have come to a decision inside my head of what i will do - and told him what i think is fair.
He works really long hours and travels a lot - so i do feel bad for him as he is knackered most of the time. But part of it is also that he just doesn't care. He doesn't 'expect' me to do things for him - in the way that he would never say 'where's my shirt/pants etc'.
He also will go to visit his parents or away with the TA for weekends, so all the mess that has built up in the week which has been left for the weekend gets done by me - or not, and then another week of mess layers on the top.
Also he is doing a distance Masters course, but of course all of his travel, ta, and studying is only possible because i keep everything else ticking over. And just as his free time is precious to him so is mine and i would like to spend it painting, reading etc rather than 2 days per week cooking and cleaning!
So now i just step over his mess or put it in his study.
I will never change him so it is a compromise or leave. I am at peace with my compromise :)
NOW! if he was like my dad who does absolutely fuck all, retired and home all day and shouts at my full time working mum that cleaning is her responsibility then i certainly wouldn't put up with it.
Sorry for the long post, i'm rambling (i've got concussion after an accident so my thoughts are a bit scattered). But what i mean is it's acceptable to me because there is no expectation from him that i should do it. IYSWIM