bi curious daughter

[thirdontheleft]

My daughter has has a couple of bi encounters - ain't got a problem with that - so have I!

Issues are - do I tell her about me - I feel she ought to know, as she is not sure about her sexuality - her mother and I both support her what ever she wants to be - don't have a problem with what ever she wants to be - but parents present role models and children look up to them - will it diminish or improve her view of me if I tell her about myself?

How do I support her - she trusted a good friend at school and told her about herself - but they have fallen out and now it seems that rumours may be spreading. I will be particularly unhappy with the school if it does not encourage a culture of embracing all sexuality - in my opinion it goes with out saying that that is what schools should do. But any thoughts/parents expriences are welcome.

She knows that her mother and I support her - the big hurdle of being able to talk to us is not a big hurdle, but its something that we don't talk about much.

I think Rhinestone has it covered.

NOBODY wants to know about their parents' sex lives. ESPECIALLY not at a difficult time in their lives when they're trying to sort out who they are sexually.

Just support her because you do, and it's right to support her whoever she is. Let her know you are totally proud of her whoever she is.

When I was going through a crap time in my first marriage, aged 31, both my parents told me stuff about their relationships that I REALLY DIDN'T WANT OR NEED TO KNOW!!!! and I really wish I didn't know.

I guess it comes down to that old chestnut

are you her parent, or her mate ?

personally, I don't think the 2 things go together

you can be a friendly parent, you can get on well, you can share things

but you are not her peer

for a start, you are at least 20 years older than her

you look a fool when you forget that very simple fact

Just to say I am a lesbian. As a teenager I labelled myself bi and did find it difficult. My dad told me he was also bi - trying to be supportive. It did not help at all! It actually freaked me out a bit as it made me worry whether he had affairs with men, might leave my mother, might have aids (this was a big thing in the news at the time). I didn't talk to him about any of these fears, just got depressed about it all.

i think teenagers, and especially 1 questioning their own sexuality, are rarely mature enough to be able to handle a revelation like this. It might be different if they were brought up knowing this though. But from my own experience I would say don't tell her.

When I was a teenage girl, I had many gay friends. Most of them would cringe at the thought of speaking to their parents. They were ok talking to their friends, but would not talk to their parents about something so personal they were just working out about themselves.

How do you know about your daughters bi encounters? Have you been prying? Making her talk?

I never told my mum anything, what I did when my boyfriend was visiting, was private. If they every assumed anything was going on, they were discrete, and nice. I knew I could talk to them about everything, but I chose not to.

So, dont try to be a cool dude. Be a cliff.
And do not talk about your own sexual experiences. It is creepy.
It sounds to me like you want to confess about your sexual life to your daughter, and to me this just reads wrong.