asking someone I don't know out - do it myself or get help from someone else...?

[msshapelybottom]

Ok, I know this is daft and immature, but I'm really no good at this lark -

There is a guy I really like who works in a very part time capacity in a shop locally. I see him maybe once a week and I think he might be attracted to me, but he could also just be being polite.

I saw him yesterday and couldn't make myself just ask him out. Bottled it, my mouth went dry and I could manage a smile & hello but that was it - I came back a couple of hours later to ask him and he was gone.

I have a neighbour whose friend works in the same place (it's a large organisation) and she might know him...do I ask her about him, or do I just be patient and do it myself?

I have no idea when I'll next see him and the suspense is driving me insane!

Thanks for reading. If anyone has some balls to spare, feel free to send them my way please

Imperial, this is the 21st century. Are you implying that it's still down to the man to do the asking?

Imperial, I see where you are coming from. I'm not sure whether I subscribe to the "rules" though...if he is put off by a woman asking him out then he's probably not the man for me anyway!

anothermum, yes, more chit chat's a good idea :)

No, SolidGold - I'm not saying that. I'd just rather know that he was interested in the OP - if he'd spent an hour talking to her in the pub, then OK she could ask him out. She doesn't know whether he's seeing anyone, whether he's gay, or what. I suppose I want her to limit the chance of being embarrassed if he turns her down.

How do I get him to the pub for a chat without asking him out though?

I won't be embarrassed if he turns me down, I'd rather take a chance than wonder for evermore!

You get your friend who works there to arrange a Christmas night out, of course! And you go along because you're her friend. It's easy at this time of year.

OK just re-read the thread. You will have to confide in your neighbour.

Imperial, it's a good idea, but not me at all. I think I'm just going to be direct.

I'm 37, I have 3 kids, I can ask a guy out

Thanks for all the input, it's helped me to figure out what to do!

Yes! Of course you can totally ask him out, it's just coffee. Even if he turns you down you will have made his day. He will be walking taller for weeks afterwards. So worse case scenario, he says no but you made someone feel really good about themselves. Just smile nicely and have your answers ready for if he says yes or no so you don't get flustered. When you go up to ask, think to yourself - I am going to make this person feel good with a compliment, I am a GREAT person. And if says no it doesn't matter because after all, I am fabulous in every way AND I have a shapelybottom. You're an adult. You can do this. Good luck!

freedom, Yes! That's exactly how I'm going to do it :) I know when someone asks me out I am floating on air even if I say no...alrighty, I'll report back one way or the other asap!