I'm guessing this guy is going to ignore me when I see him out tomorrow nite? Yawn.

[toptramp]

I pulled a hottie last weekend. A younger man. After he left he phoned and told me that he would definately phone me as he is back in town tomorrow and would like to meet up. So far no phone call. Which means he will be in town tomorrow night (as will I as booked a meal with friends ages ago). As he hasn't called as promised I just know he's going to do that classic guy thing of ignoring me.

I just wanted a bit of festive fun. i didn't want a relationship so why did he bother phoning me telling me he was going to phone me? Why aren't people straight up? He even took the trouble to phone me once he'd left my house when he could have just left it. i wouldn't have minded. I will probably see him tomorrow and he will probably ignore me. I like to hav e abit of banter with my former flings but I just know this is how he's going to act!

I am going to look for new talent but why the lies?

With respect, Solid and the like, need to get out more and express their strong opinions in RL.

I once had slept with a guy in a hotel room after a night out and he left while I was in the shower. He had my number fromthe night before and so he text me to say he was sorry he left but he remembered that his gran needed him to go round and help her with something but that he would call me that afternoon to make plans for a date.
I text him back to say no need to make things up and I was actually rather pleased he left while I was in the shower as it meant no awkward goodbyes- thanks for a great evening and all the best etc.

He replied saying "no honestly, it's the truth, can't wait to see you again" and then never ever called or text again... I have no idea why people can't be upfront. I think it's because society paints women as desperate bunny boilers and so men feel that they have to escape from our desperate clutches else we'll break down in tears.

Soooo if a woman chooses to have consensual sex she deserves to be lied to?

How many partners do you have to have before you cross the line from being treated with respect / treated with dishonesty and lack of integrity?

Just curious is all.

Actually OP I have had a look back at some of your other threads, and what I really think is that you would seriously benefit from some counselling. The thing is, finding A Man is not going to fix you. No one can fix you but you, yourself, and it's going to take a while. But right now you really need to stop dating until you have sorted yourself out, or you're just going to go on and on like this: pulling blokes, obsessing over them, screaming and kicking off all over the place, and it's not going to do you any good.

I'm with Solid & co. on this one.

You sound like a teenager, OP.

I recommend the book "Maybe He's Just Not Into You".

OP I have no idea about your previous threads nor your "spat" with SGB.
FWIW I don't think there is anything wrong with no strings attached sex/one night stands.
What I don't understand is this, you say you don't want to see this man again and that you like someone else. So why get het up about a white lie he told you re calling you? I understand that you want people to be straight with you if they don't want to see you again but as you aren't fussed by him anyway why the big deal? Just move on from it.
It all seems like a non issue tbh

God, this reminds me how awful one night stands are. Does anyone actually feel better for it the next day?

OP, this guy doesn't want to see you again. If he did want to, he's changed his mind. You don't want to see him again, either, so why the fuss? Lucky escape if you don't want to see him again.

Now this other man you're suddenly interested in. Do you just want him for one night, too? So you won't care if you don't see him again, either?

It does sound like desperate behaviour - "pulling a hottie" ffs - grow up with your language, there.

Can you not see that it's not safe to take home randoms and have sex with them? If you had an 18 year old daughter, would you advise her to do that? What problems might you foresee if she did?

Think about it. You go out, get drunk, go home with someone. Do you feel better for it? Do you really think first night sex is as good as it gets?

It's a one night stand when at least one of you doesn't want to see the other again. Hardly romantic. Hardly conducive to good sex. Hardly the stuff of dreams, is it?

I agree with Imperial and others, whatever you say it's. clear you're not really happy with this manner of "dating" as you are constantly being let down and disappointed.

Set your sights a bit higher for what you want for yourself, and I don't mean in which type of man, I mean in your own personal happiness.

But isn't the OP just asking why people feel they have to lie to you rather than just say "see you" as they walk out the door?

I agree OP very irritating. Or if they want to cushion what they think will be a blow, just say "I'll call you", not "I'll call you Tuesday at 7.35 for dinner at the local chinese because you're the best thing that ever happened to me and I never want to let you go"

I am married now, but the lengths some people go to when discussing a date they have no intention of going on is amazing.

Says BabyBelly who once cried off with a broken leg

Never post on relationships, never seen any of the OPs threads.

Clearly haven't seen any of SGB's threads either as I have no idea who she/he is.

That post was out of the order though, SGB. Well out of order. Why launch a personal attack on someone like that?

SGB might be blunt but she does come across as being caring. I agree with her about the counselling OP.

If you really wanted NSA then you wouldn't have even picked up the phone when he called you afterwards.

OP, I don't understand your problem.

You wanted a no strings shag.

You told him you didn't want a boyfriend.

You like someone else anyway.

Why are you upset that he didn't call? You can't blame him for treating it like a one-off shag when that's exactly what it was.

Just going by this thread it doesn't sound like you can handle no-strings shagging at all. If I were you I'd give it a rest for a bit and stop chasing every man you see.

I do think that the OP is asking a general question, using her own experience as an example. It seems to me that she's wondering why people do this in general, as opposed to being upset that this particular man did it.

As regards to any history between the two posters I have no idea. But from what others have said, SGB is a regular and therefore able to say whatever she wants...can't we all say whatever we want?! It's a chat forum! An anonymous one at that :)

Though I do think the references to desperation and whining are a bit nasty for the sake of being nasty!

TT, think is love, you need to see how you are 'marketing yourself'.

You call yourself TopTramp, you are shagging guys, saying you don't want a boyfriend, but then agonising over the fact that he may ignore you in town.

IF you were not genuinely bovvered by these blokes talking or not talking to you, you wouldn't be here. it simply wouldn't register with you.

Thing is, it DOES bother you and you ARE here.

I know SGB's delivery was a tad snippy [understatement] but tbh, as I say you are not being your own best friend here.

If you don't want commitment, then you can't get hung up in a guy you shag talking to you or not. If you do want commitment then slow it all down, think about what image you are putting out there and try to realise why you are attracting the substandard blokes that you are.

Raise your game love. you can do it.

Take some time out, think about you, what YOU want in life and see what YOU need to do to get it. IF a decent bloke comes alone in the meantime, see who he is, what he is like and THEN see if you can make something exciting work.

In answer to the original question, I guess they do it to avoid awkwardness and supposed rudeness, rather like the automatic response of 'fine' when asked 'how are you?'

ESPECIALLY if he was a young guy picked up in a club - what do you want the poor bo to do? Stand there and risk a potential full on assault when he says 'you know, I dont really like you in the cold light of day, I was pissed and you were available, so i took up the offer but wont be doing it again cos it wasnt all that?'

I am assuming you didnt spent the preceeding evening discussing your future plans together so he didnt know you werent hoping for more, but probably assumed you were because society still generally assumes that girls dont go home and shag random blokes (although we all know they do) with NSA and the polite thing is to pull out the socially accepted get out clause of 'Ill ring you' - I thought we all knew what that meant. Thats why we are so surprised when they do!