I've gone

[noluck]

I don't know if any of you remember me, but after years of being in an unaffectionate marriage I have gone. Well to be honest, he has....

I feel relieved, sad, empty, strong, free, happy, a bit worried, don't sleep very well, have panic attacks, have lost a bit of weight.

Will it all get better? Will I manage? Can I be happy again at my age? Be loved?

Just needed to get it off my chest so thank you for being here.

Congratulations! Being in a relationship with no affection is so hard, it can be utterly soul destroying and you deserve so much more. Age really is nothing but a number and there is no reason whatsoever why you shouldn't meet someone who makes you feel special.

Give yourself as much time as you need and stay strong, it will be hard at first but you deserve so much more than an affection-less partner.

Absolutely!

I was married for 10 years, it was very up and down. The night my Mum died (she was 50) I'd been at the hospice all day got home, and he got up and went back to bed because he was tired. I knew then - last straw time, but it still took me another 3 years to ask him to leave.

It was tough being a single parent, it was lonely, but it's the BEST thing I ever did for myself and my kids!!

Best of luck!

Thank you so much for your messages. My friends have rallied round and my children (though a bit shocked) and I know that I am not alone, even though I thought so for SO many years. Lots of love to you all. Feel like saying : If I can do it, anyone can....

Yes, you can noluck, we all can! I chucked a similar sorry specimen out last week.

(I'm no spring chicken either, 49)

Onwards and upwards.

I can't believe how relieved I am at times. No more walking on eggshells. No more excuses. No more hyper organising meals and so on...Perhaps I will wake up...

Me either most of the time noluck. I find night time the worst, so what I've started doing is a list of all the shit times. Boy is it getting long! Whenever I waiver I have a read.

i think it gets better/easier with time- like grieving. but any left over issues can play havoc with ones happiness

yes you are never too old to be happy, with or without someone else. well i bloody well hope so or Im in trouble

deep breaths and distractions are my way at the moment. happiness seems miles away but im on the right road and so too are you

Noluck it will all be fine!

I left 15 months ago and I am 51 and I am happier now than I have been in ages. You will be amazed how your friendships deepen now you are available and have time to invest in them. People will respond to you and you will find out how much you are loved for yourself. You will be more open to others and to new opportunities.

First you need to look after yourself, grieve and be kind to yourself, which will take a while. But there are plenty of us on who who are on the journey and we understand. You won't look back with regret!

Oh and fuzzy good luck to you too!

Last year Bibi had a thread going which was a huge support to those of us on the path to singledom. Maybe this thread could be the same?

First of all, change your name to something much more positive and get yourself over to the dating thread on here!

Well done for ending the relationship once and for all. You will love and more importantly, be loved again. The world's your crab cake!

Give yourself time to let all of the past out, the bad, heavy stuff that you buried for all of those years, de-clutter your head, your heart and start to heal. Take your time and let the real you shine again.

When you've been in a long term relationship, and a bad one at that, it takes time for the dust to settle and for you to feel brave enough to make your own choices again, do the things that YOU want to, dress how YOU like, eat what YOU like, go where YOU like.

Think of this festive season, New Year, as the time to start your new life. xx

Yep am 2 years into that journey and everything said is true got to go out but will be revisiting this thread soon

Thanks LGBH! In a very positive mood this evening, list growing even longer

Yes, do change your name OP. You have us and we can all support each other.

Have a "great" evening gettingeasier

Good for you Fuzzy xx

Thanks AChristmousTail

I was lucky in the fact that I was able (thanks to a tip from here) to finally sit back and watch my ex from different perspective.

I wrote a thread about it just recently, if you fancy a laugh. Hang on, let me go and find what I called it.

It's called "surreal or what"

I'm normally Mouseface and not used to my Christmas nc so I wasn't sure you meant me then Fuzzy

The best thing about getting your life back is realising that you can start again but more so than that, you already know much more than you did before.

You are savvy to the twats of this world, your Spidey Senses can home in on a CockFacedMuppetFucker from 20 yards!

You take no shit, you call the shots, YOU do what YOU want to!

Seriously, you've made it, you got out, so go get your life back and make it twice a good as it ever was. That's what I did. xx

Oh yes, hi mouseface, think I have read some of your postings on the bus thread.

Thank you all a gain. Went out las t night, laughed SO much...didn't have to Check the Time all the Time. Sorry for typos...bl**dy iPad in foreign language. Have a Nice week-end. I Will.

Hello ma'am
It does get better :) Hope you have a lovely weekend xxx

It definitely gets better but even if you are relieved to be out of it you should expect some 'down times' just treat yourself kindly and believe they will pass.

Good evening all - glad you had a fab evening noluck. Yes, the laugher definitely comes back in fits and starts. My DS even commented last night that I was far more fun (he didn't see me later that night having a tear in the kitchen).

I also caved in and text him (sober i may add) trying to be reaonable - I was always the one to loose the plot and become upset and angry due to his cold hurtfulness, then be the one that got the blame and feel ashamed of my outburst. Questioned myself to the point of ridiculousness and tried to be better.

Anyway, I got the big ignore then when I asserted myself and asked for an answer got the "he was no fool text and that he hadn't been enjoying MY company for a few months. What an arse.

Number has now been deleted!

What's been going on with all of you?

Good morning to you all. Am very proud, i managed all week-end. I was even able to read in the middle of the night when I woke up and couldn't sleep. My children are really supportive and my sister, which helps. I Will survive and manage. Have also lost the knot in my stomach. Hope you all have a Nice day/week, here it's pouring.

Morning noluck glad you have lost the knot in your stomach I remember that very well especially early mornings.

Fuzzy oh yes I had that cycle where I would swallow xhs cold distant behaviour in tandem with going out drinking every night and then around every couple of months I would create a scene/have an outburst and then be treated with further contempt because I was "mad"

You know I am 2 years on and this last couple of months I have found myself back on the relationship boards because I have been feeling low for the first time in ages. I am so glad reading some of the comments on this thread because its easy to forget what living with him was like until I am reminded and it all comes back to me.

Just keep taking one day at a time and accept all the support you are being offered