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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Following on from the 'rabbit' thread...

13 replies

ShyNembarassed · 09/01/2006 09:43

I have the same problem after sex with my dp, he always seems to hit my cervix. It?s painful and I very often bleed afterwards, I get that same period type 'ache'.

I have been to my GP as I have had treatment for cervical cancer a few years ago (before I met dp) and I was worried that it might have returned. All that the doctor could tell me was my cervix is very scared from the treatment and it is in a strange position so she could see why it would cause problems but she couldn't help me other than to advise us to try different positions to see what one doesn't hurt.

We of course have tried this but the only position that doesn't hurt is one my dp isn't keen on.

Our 'love life' is really suffering, he is too scared to do it because he doesn't want to hurt me, and the only position that doesn't hurt is one that he gets little pleasure in. I do try to satisfy him in other ways but I just want to be able to make love to him the way he wants and to enjoy it!

Any advice?

OP posts:
Beetrootfultoyourself · 09/01/2006 09:46

tell him to get on and do it the way that doesn't hurt you or be happy with a wank!

jco · 09/01/2006 10:14

hi hun, I can understand why you are feeling frustrated because although its not the most important thing everybody wants to have a mutually satisfying sex life with their partner. I would try and talk to your gp again or in fact see a different one because although the pain may well be being caused by scare tissue i believe that scare tissue can be removed if it is causing problems. i say this because i know of a friend who had a different problem but she had scar tissue cut away from her cervix

Original poster
ShyNembarassed · 09/01/2006 10:16

I am not a troll, doesn't anybody have any advice for me? Its really making my life miserable.

Its hard to enjoy sex when it hurts or you know that your dp isn't enjoying it.

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 09/01/2006 10:18

Shy, I'm sorry but your DP should put your health before his sexual kicks ! After all, you wouldn't want to partake in an activity which he found painful and left him bleeding, no matter how nice it made you feel, would you ?

I agree with Beety, finish him off in other ways.

Original poster
ShyNembarassed · 09/01/2006 10:20

Sorry jco our posts crossed.

I feel a bit embarrassed to go to the doctor again, she made me feel like there was nothing they could do, she did say that they could give me a hysterectomy but its a bit drastic.

I didn't know that they could remove scar tissue from the cervix.

OP posts:
jco · 09/01/2006 10:20

shynembarressed i've left you a reply below hun x

yoyo · 09/01/2006 10:21

ShyNemb - does this happen at a particular point in your menstrual cycle? I recently spoke to my GP about bleeding mid-cycle and he said that the hormones at that point softening the cervix coupled with some cervical erosion were probably the cause. I am going to have a smear test and will discuss cauterization which can help apparently. I find even moderate exercise has this effect and I also have the period-like pain too.

Original poster
ShyNembarassed · 09/01/2006 10:24

NDP, he very often 'holds back' and doesn't want to do it, its not that he is 'huge' its that my cervix is in the way. I would just like to have a mutually satisfying sex life with him.

God help me if he was huge, there would be no way I'd even consider it!!!!!!

OP posts:
jco · 09/01/2006 10:26

my friend had scar tissue and adhesions after treatment for precancerous cells and cervical errosions. Next time i talk to her which should be tomorrow i'll ask them what exactly they did but from what she told me it meant removing a tiny part of her cervix that was affected.

Ask your gp to refer you to a gynaecologist because he/she will be far more aware of what treatment they could give you than your gp.

don't be embarressed hun, having a good sex life is part of a healthy loving relationship and there's nothing wrong with you wanting to try and improve things. i know there are other things you can do but its always nice to feel that both you and you partner are satisfied

Original poster
ShyNembarassed · 09/01/2006 10:30

yoyo, it can happen at anytime in the month, we can be enjoying ourselves one minute but if he get to excited and 'thrusts' a little to deeply thats it 'game over' so to speak and we have to stop. Then he feels guilty and doesn't want to do it again for a couple of weeks because he doesn't want to hurt me.

Maybe I should see the doctor again, it shouldn't be like this surely?

OP posts:
Original poster
ShyNembarassed · 09/01/2006 10:34

jco, it sound like your friend was in a similar position as I am, I was beginning to think I was the only one who suffered this problem.

That's it! You have made up my mind to ask the doctor to refer me to a gynecologist, thank you.

OP posts:
jco · 09/01/2006 10:40

Good for you hun!! I'm certain there will be a way they can help and like i said i'll ask my friend about her experience and let you know exactly what happened

Original poster
ShyNembarassed · 09/01/2006 10:50

Thank you so much, this has been going on for 5 years now, which is 5 years too long!

OP posts:
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