Another friend tale of woe....
I have a friend of 30 years- she was my bridesmaid and is godmother to a DC.
BUT although we get on really well when we meet, she has changed hugely over the years in some ways and I find myself being judgemental and almost not liking who she has become.
In a nutshell, she is very me, me, me. She has no children but huge wealth with a DH who earns megabucks. She doesn't work, but has made herself busy with bits of voluntary work etc. and pampering herself. I am not jealous, but I suppose I am a bit fed up at her lack of effort in our friendship. I work, I have had 2 DCs and the last one has just left home. Whenever we meet up, the onus is on me to see her where she lives,(in a big city where I might go shopping or to have my hair done) - not her ever coming to see me in the country. I always used to suggest we met up when I was there, but recently I've stopped doing this simply because she wasn't inviting me- I had to always suggest we met after I'd had my hair done or whatever. So we haven't met for almost a year, but speak at least once or twice a week on the phone.
On top of all of this, her marriage is very dodgy- divorce has been on the cards for years- but she will not take any "blame" for how it is- it's all his fault. Yet when she tells me what they have rowed over, I can see both sides, and sometimes tell her this which ends up with us rowing on the phone.
I suppose I am just ranting here. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but money has changed her, and not for the better. I find that everytime we talk, I have to bite my tongue because I disagree with her views on lots of things, especially her relationship.
The other thing- and I know this sounds petty- is that several years ago she suddenly stopped buying me a Christmas or birthday present. Up until that year, we had bought for each other and at Christmas would also buy a small gift for each other's DHs. She continued to buy for my children, and I found this really hurtful as I knew her for years before they came along. It also put me in a tricky position because I felt it was odd to buy her a personal present when she wasn't buying for me any more. I got round this by buying her and her DH a joint impersonal gift. I have no idea why she stopped buying, because money is not the issue.
I feel cool towards her, but I think I'm feeling like this because she for a long time she hasn't made as much effort as she used to, and she has also become a bit of a different person by having so much money. This is not so much a question over what to do, but just asking if anyone else has long friendships that change?