Just got pregnant and dh announced today we need couples counselling

[ThePoorMansBeckySharp]

Dh said his coffee tasted 'furry' and poured it down the sink. I said I would put the coffee plunger through the dishwasher (probably a bit irritably but it was 6am and he complained about the same thing yesterday! He said we bicker all the time and he can't say anything to me and we need to go and 'talk to someone'. He said I haven't even yet said that I am happy about the baby (I thought it was obvious!) I cried as it was a shock and said we can go to counselling but I want to think about it after the first scan when I know the baby is all right. He said my crying was an 'extreme reaction'. He has stomped upstairs saying "It's not good when you can't talk about anything!"

What the fuck? I have gone from feeling on top of the world expecting my 2nd baby to hearing actually my marriage is in the crapper and it's not even 7am yet?

I don't really know what I want anybody to say, but thanks for reading.

how awful for you.
I don't know what to advise, but wanted to say that you need to think about yourself and take care of you and your baby firstly.
Was the baby a shock to him? Is he worried about having another one or is there something that is causing him extra stress at the moment?

I don't have a lot of specific advice I'm afraid but didn't want to read and run. It's miserable enough having problems with your DH/P without being pg as well. Congratulations on your second baby and I hope things will all come right soon - big unMumsnetty hug from me. :)

Congratulations on the pregnancy.

Sounds like you've both over-reacted a bit. He's suggested you have couples counselling because all you seem to do is bicker. That's hardly saying your marriage is in the crapper. You've cried, he's stomped off. You seem to both have difficulties communicating.

Look at his suggestion as a positive thing. It can't do any harm can it.

Congratulations - hormones, early mornings, not a good combination - hope your day gets better.

as tooeasily says, it is a more positive reaction than "i have had enough, I am leaving".

I am grumpy as hell in a morning, so I stay out of the way of my husband.. as I know we would both end up bickering.

I would say you both need to agree a time when you will be uninterrupted, and have a proper calm talk to each other. You both might have valid points.. sometimes we can get so wrapped up in day to day life that we do take each other for granted and dont even realise how the other person may be feeling when we say things.

I had a row with my husband once and he said that I was negative towards him a lot, and rarely said anything nice. He did have a point, and I realised that I had been doing that, without even thinking about it. I wasnt doing it to be nasty, or be vindictive, I was just in a grumpy mood in general and because he is the person closest to me, he had been on the receiving end of my bad mood.

I am sure you can sort it out between you, probably without even going to counselling. But dont look on counselling as being the end of the road either, sometimes a neutral person can help you to sort yourselves out. :)

Aw, there there. Nobody would take well to a bombshell like that at 6am when hormonal, but actually "we seem to be bickering all the time, I think we should try couples' counselling" is something that a thoughtful committed person would say - your DH sounds like a bit of a catch to me.

Let's face it, you're not going to be in a good position to do it after the baby arrives, so booking something now to start after Xmas and the 12 week scan might be an excellent idea.

counselling can be very helpful, can get out into the open silly little things that have the potential to simmer and come to the boil and explode.

What harm can it do? If he thinks you both need it, you probably both need it