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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Aaaarrrrgggghhhhh SILS!!

11 replies

redvelvetcake · 08/12/2011 05:10

I just need to say can someone please agree that swearing at your SIL in your head is perfectly normal. And so are intense feelings of dislike.

OP posts:
Jacksmania · 08/12/2011 05:22

Completely and utterly acceptable if your SIL is an utter cow. Expected even.

What's she done? Gwan, you want to tell.

Wormshuffler · 08/12/2011 05:26

Yes it is the law to hate at least 1 of your SILS I hate 2 out of 4 of mine.

redvelvetcake · 08/12/2011 05:54

I don't get on with her. DH and i and BIL and SIL had a major falling out. We stopped talking for a year and have just about got back to pleasantries.

We have moved abroad and it was DS's first birthday today. I had my hand forced by mil to invite them.

The stupid lazy cow has been here for four days and not lifted a finger. She comes down to eat and then just sit. She feeds her DD and leaves the sink full of bottles and bowls. She uses the playroom and leaves it a mess.

And I'm left to clean it. And I'm seven months pregnant and in so much pain. Is it too much to ask to at least put your bottles in the dishwasher? Or to at least talk to me since you have arrived and are staying at my house and eating my food? To at least say hi?

OP posts:
buggyRunner · 08/12/2011 05:56

Don't wash her crap, just don't do it

Jacksmania · 08/12/2011 06:01

Nope, not too much to ask at all. Some people just have zero graces.

Do you feel you could say something like "look, you're family, I'm sure you don't want me to treat you like a guest. Bet she would but that's just tough shit. I'll be honest, I'm knackered and I'm really hurting. Could you help me out and put stuff in the dishwasher? And tidy up after using the playroom?"

That should put any decent person on the spot.
If it doesn't work, words need to be had along the same lines with her DH. And if none of it works, you have ammo for dealing with MIL. If she pressures you to ever invite them again, you have every right to say that there's no bloody chance of that until she learns to be a considerate grown-up who'll clean up after herself, especially when visiting a 7 mos pg woman. And watch MIL squirm. Because I'm ging to bet that MIL, if nothing else, was brought up better than that.

Ilovepigs · 08/12/2011 08:07

You have my sympathies-I cannot stand my sil.

We maintain a false pretence of pleasantries whenever we see each other-about 4 times a year even though we live streets apart!

She is quite simply one of the most joyless people I know. She constantly moans,never smiles-I find her tedious in the extreme.

She never goes out socially,has no friends and her life seems to revolve around policing her dds sleep overs.

I know she doesnt like me either-she is jealous because I am a sahm and she cant afford to be.

Her one plus point is that she is hosting inlaws for xmas this year after I put my foot down and said we were staying at home So she's not all badGrin

buggyRunner · 08/12/2011 08:20

My sil and I have an improved relationship. After taking an instant dislike to me and was horrid to me- my dp had a word with bil and she is a lot better.

Had to bite my tongue regarding her comments about children. They shouldn't watch tv, be in pubs for meals, bfeeding is disgusting etc.

Now she is preg and hoping to bfeed. I know she will get a reality check.

I found though that when she got preg she was nicer (turns out they had been ttc for a long time and dp and I getting preg twice in this time easily must have been tough)

redvelvetcake · 08/12/2011 16:57

ilovepigs that sounds like my SIL. I just needed a rant about how annoying she is. What is it with SILS? Especially the older ones?

I'm in need of a good drink!!

OP posts:
Ilovepigs · 08/12/2011 17:09

red-my sil is not old-only 6 years older than me. But my dh has known her since her and bil got together 25 years ago and he said she has always been miserable. The two of them cant stand each other but maintain peace for the sake of bil.

PopcornMouse · 08/12/2011 17:19

Just don't do it. Say "please could you put the bottles in the dishwasher when you're done with them?" Hmm She can't in all reasonableness refuse.

ledkr · 08/12/2011 17:25

Just move the bottles and bowls onto the side of the sink and ignore them,she will soon need them.How rude.

My sil is a spoilt little princess.Nearly fecking 30 and has pil and bil running around after her.She sent a list of possible xmas presents to dh,it was bigger and more expensive than my dd who is 9.
I tried to get along with her when i was pg with dd2 now 9 months.Id send her texts with updates on scans etc.and she'd ignore them but ring dh to discuss it Hmm

My other sil has never even seen our baby.She is hoping to start a family soon.I have told dh i shall be affording her the same lack of interest.

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