23 weeks pregnant - having a hard time unsupportive family :(

[Savannahrose]

I'm a bit unsure why I'm posting this on here, maybe I'm looking for support or to hear some nice words for once so here goes.
This year has been hard to say the least. I had a premature birth at 34 weeks was in for 3 weeks, baby ok now
Then I lost my 5 year old in court to her dad due to them saying I was keeping her away from him and being uncooperative, even though he had nothing to do with her for 2 years, I am now fighting back for her and finding this time of year very hard due to her birthday being on Christmas day and it was " agreed" he would have her this year due to the last 2 years of him not seeing her. There's more to the story but that's besides the point. Since then my family have been so nasty and unsupportive to me. My DD is nearly 7 months and they haven't seen her since she was 2 weeks old, they never ring or ask to see if we're ok or if I'm ok in this pregnancy, nothing. I see my 5 year old every weekend yet my own family go behind my back and call my ex to ask how she is even tho when we were together they hated him.
The other month I called my nana who I was very close to, for her to ask why I was calling.? Its now coming up to my birthday and I booked a table for me friends my DH family and my dad, step mum and sisters. Initially my dad said he would come, now he's saying he will have to leave at 8 even tho the table is booked for 7.30?? What's the point? I struggled to get the booking in the first place as it was the last slot and they had limited spaces available given the time of year.
I then yesterday thought sod it, I'll call my nan see how she is and her plans for Xmas asi have her gift. When she answered the phone she asked who it was, followed by an awkward silence after I told her. She said she'd not heard from me and I jokingly said I could say the same! She said she was very upset that I'd not called even though she USED to call me every week. She didn't even ask how I was or how my DD as just said she didn't want to talk and went. I feel very alone and am facing a Christmas without one of my DD and my whole family. They have made me feel very horrible and upset and my hormones are not helping. They have made me feel that it's all my fault why I lost my DD even though my solicitor told me it was a rare decision and that I WILL get her back.
I'm really struggling at the min. My DH is a life saver and I don't no where I would be today with him or his family. They have been a massive support. I mean what do I do? Stay quiet with them and let them come around or what? Please help me, feeling very fragile at the min :'(
Thanks for reading

There seems to be a massive backstory here that I don't know. Do your family blame you in some way for losing your dd? WHat was the real reason she was removed, I can't see that they would remove her for you refusing access, especially to a hitherto absent father. Maybe they are struggling with you building a new family when your daughter has been taken away? What about your dp, is he supportive? WHat exactly are you doing to get your daughter back, and is he helping with this?

Courts do not remove children from their mothers unless they have good cause. They do not do so because you have restricted access to the child

Perhaps your family are being off with you because they know the true story behind this?

Also if your dc is 7 months and you are nearly 6 months pregnant again

Keeping it simple, I think we all want to believe that our families will be there for us. We buy into the idea that blood is thicker than water and all that. But the fact is, just because you are related to someone, just because you have spent a large chunk of your life with them, doesn't mean that they will care about you, be kind to you or be there for you.

So many folks find more and more heartache as they try to make family relationships "work" either because they think they should or because they want to recapture something they had or felt they had in the past that was good. It's hard, but sometimes the best route is to draw a line, to not drain yourself trying to repair relationships that may never heal.

You have your DH, your baby and another on the way. You feel his family are welcoming and supportive of you. That in itself is a blessing. You may feel that you want your own family there for you, but there may be nothing you can do to make them do that. I would almost just let them go. Maybe some day down the line things will change and relationships can be built again, but it would be better to focus your energies on your own family, the family you love and who love you. And, all being well, the situ will change with your oldest DC so she can be with you as well. Take good care.

I also think there is a massive backstory here which would explain the behaviour of your family. I simply don't believe that any court would give full custody to a '2 years absent father' unless they had very good reason.

You can't force a relationship with your family if they don't want it. I think for now you should concentrate on your new baby, keeping calm and healthy in this current pregnancy, and building upon your seemingly good relationship with your DH and his family. Work on making your life as stable as possible so you can get your eldest DD back.

How does access to DD work then if you see her every weekend? Is it split PR and residence? Why on earth would the court award him residency if he had been uninerested for two years, how does your DD feel about all this.

Yanbu to fel hurt but it seems you may not have been making an effort with your family either, do you think you pushed them away when you were having problems?