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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend call 4 year old 'the baby' and it is driving me mad.

38 replies

Eggrules · 07/12/2011 10:08

I know I am being unreasonable but I hate it. Does this bother anybody else?

How do others manage relationships with friends that have totally different styles?

OP posts:
allnewtaketwo · 07/12/2011 10:09

Yes this drives me mad. I know someone with a 4.5 yo and a 3yo and they're both the 'babies'

4merlyknownasSHD · 07/12/2011 10:14

We had a decorator who referred to his 14yr old son as "the Babby" (Black Country).

TrinityRhino · 07/12/2011 10:15

is she calling her four year old the baby or yours?

if she's just doing it to hers then let it slide over you

in all seriousness

SamMiguel · 07/12/2011 10:16

People from Liverpool quite often do this with their youngest child, sometimes even when the child is well into adulthood!

OvO · 07/12/2011 10:16

I call my 4 year old "the baby" and I was "the bairn" until I was 16.

I don't understand why it's such an issue for you OP? I can see how people might find it irritating but not how it can be so annoying that you need to manage the relationship.

GlaikitFizzEggNog · 07/12/2011 10:23

I call ds the bairn but he is only 7 months. if its your dc being referred to then I would just say that they aren't a baby anymore. if you say it a couple of times they might take the hint!

Eggrules · 07/12/2011 10:24

SamMiguel - we are both from Liverpool originally.

She tends to call them both 'the baby'. Babby doesn't bother me.

I think it bothers me so much because she babies her child to the detriment of all other young children regardless of age - precious last born.

OP posts:
RealiTreeCoveredInTinsel · 07/12/2011 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SenoritaViva · 07/12/2011 10:26

My DD wouldn't let me get away with it (age 4, we'd be severely admonished for not commenting on how grown up she is).

Eggrules · 07/12/2011 10:26

TrinityRhino - I agree that it shouldn't bother me. It makes my teeth itch.

OP posts:
Eggrules · 07/12/2011 10:29

Referring to DC as the babies is fine. Facebook updates "the baby x y z" when you have three children and 'baby' is 4 is not ( for example).

OP posts:
DeckTheHugeWithBoughsOfManatee · 07/12/2011 10:30

My OH's family are from Liverpool - it must be a regional thing, they called the youngest child in the family 'the baby' until she was 4. Now there's a new baby though, and The Girl Formerly Known As The Baby has been deposed Grin

katkitya · 07/12/2011 10:31

My brother was the bairn until well into his twenties as there was a big age gap between us. I have friends who often call their adult children "my babies". It would not bother me and, I know plenty of four year olds who would say "Im not a baby" and that would be the end of it.

What really gets on my nerves is people who have pets who are "the babies" or "my boys" I get that from a grown up who keeps guinea pigs. It drives me up the wall!! Theyre animals

SardineQueen · 07/12/2011 10:38

We always prefix DD2s name with "baby".

She is 2.5.

She is the baby to us! And the other one (apparently) is a "big girl" of 4.5.

Does it matter?

OrmIrian · 07/12/2011 10:39

It wouldn't bother me, no.

OrmIrian · 07/12/2011 10:40

"I think it bothers me so much because she babies her child to the detriment of all other young children regardless of age " I don't understand what that means?

colditz · 07/12/2011 10:46

It bugs the living daylights out of me. I don't know why.

stayformulledwine · 07/12/2011 10:47

My son is 3 and I call him my baby boy Xmas Grin my second son is 20 months and he is babby! I will probably still be doing it when they are 40 and they will be ashamed of me forever.

colditz · 07/12/2011 10:48

I think it's because, by continually referring to school aged children as "the babies", you are denying them their independence from you. I never referredto my children as babies once they could walk, it just seems ridiculous, and slightly sickeningly wistful - as if you aren't too keen on the children they have become and wish they were docile little babies again.

wfrances · 07/12/2011 10:59

it wouldnt bother me ,i have very random cringeable pet names for my kids.
sausage age 14
tuttleforth age 13
mcklusky age 16
the boy age 7
"the baby" just seems more reasonable / normal affection pet name.

Eggrules · 07/12/2011 11:27

OrmIrian - "I think it bothers me so much because she babies her child to the detriment of all other young children regardless of age". In a group of children playing from newborn to 7, her child is 'the baby'.

wfrances pet names are fine.

colditz You have articulated how I feel. 4 YO 'baby' has a bottle and blanket at all times when not in nursery school - never have a dummy though Xmas Confused.

OP posts:
neolara · 07/12/2011 11:32

I call my 6' 3", 36 year old brother Baby. I think he likes it.

fuzzynavel · 07/12/2011 11:44

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest either.

I have various pet names for by DS who's soon to be 13

Rhysy bobbles bonbon (showing my age now, this used to be a pet name between the couple in "The Lovers" with Chrissy (forgot her last name) and Richard Beckinsale - she used to call him "Jeffrey Bobbles BonBon".

Bobs
Rhysy poos
Sausagy pot

He cringes, I laugh Grin

fuzzynavel · 07/12/2011 11:49

DS also had a bottle until he was 7 (at night only)
Oh, and still gets in with his mum sometimes.

He is one of the most secure beautiful people I know.

RumourOfAHurricane · 07/12/2011 12:08

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