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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I have fallen back in love with H!

17 replies

boxofwater · 06/12/2011 18:20

I posted a lot to MN a year or so ago (different name), and this board was really helpful. I got a lot of good advice about my problems with DH - well, our problems with each other.

Over the past couple of months I've fallen back in love with him. It is amazing. I am so happy.

I thought I'd post so people know it is possible.

We were under enormous stress (financial), and had lost our 'spark', he was being annoying about sex (whinging, not making an effort when it did happen, it had become an obligation and then something I resented doing). His reaction was worse than the lack of sex, I felt completely reduced, like I was of no value if we weren't having sex.

I also lost respect for him, for being such a sulky child about it all.

Tried to talk about it, didn't get very far, he refused to go to counselling. It all felt a bit hopeless. I constantly reminded myself about the (several, pretty bad), crap things he'd done over the years.

I was only staying because I didn't want to be a single mum to our 4 beautiful DCs.

Things are so much better now and I think it's mostly because of changes I made within myself. But I don't want to preach and everyone's different.

I just wanted to let you know it is possible sometimes.

OP posts:
KissMyA · 06/12/2011 18:36

Good for you! Xmas Smile

Hairytoes · 06/12/2011 18:40

Your happiness and refound enthusiasm really comes across!
Congratulations :)

leothelioness · 06/12/2011 18:40

:) I am glad you both managed to work things out.

Gay40 · 06/12/2011 18:41

A similar thing happened to a friend of mine. She had a pretty hopeless marriage with no affection and lots of stress and anger towards each other. I'm not saying she was perfect but her husband was a complete cock. She was at the point of leaving.
Then, his father, her FIL, died suddenly and she stayed to help sort things out for a short while. They don't know how this happened, but after the initial grief her husband appeared to change personality. He became Mr Live for Today and get the Most Out of Life because you could be Gone Tomorrow. They started going out together to see a show, or the cinema, or for walks. He started spending more time with the kids and enjoying it. And she found herself hopelessly and helplessly madly in love with him again.

They have never been happier. They both admit it was a terrible shame that grief had to force the change, but so grateful they had a second chance.

I don't know whether he consciously made a change or whether it got to crunch point, but I know that things can, sometimes and against all the odds, get better.

Luminescence · 06/12/2011 18:43

How did you do it?

nerfmum · 06/12/2011 18:47

It is nice to read a positive message. Thank you for sharing. What changes did you make? I need some tips here! Wink

Malificence · 06/12/2011 19:04

That's all very well, but what did he do, what effort did he make to improve your marriage?

boxofwater · 06/12/2011 19:24

What we (both!), did was specific to our situation but I'm happy to share.

I was quite tough on myself. Did a lot of hard thinking, a lot of reading - I had plenty of issues of my own and I wanted to make sure I was making an informed decision.

Had a series of very difficult conversations with H. Laid it completely on the line, had examples for each of my points, kept coming back to the fact that I was prepared to leave if things didn't change/improve as there was no way our relationship was sustainable in the long term otherwise.

Got him to think about his position, his motivations, had more hard conversations where he talked to me about the part he felt I had to play in our problems (that was a horrible conversation but very valuable, much more than the 'litany of faults' we'd been throwing at each other during arguments previously).

He was outraged that I'd consider 'ruining the kids lives' - I asked if he wanted to stay married to someone who felt like he now knew I did until our children had left uni, and how he saw that working - would we have seperate rooms? An open marriage? What was he really asking me to do? What did he want me to do in that scenario?

He didn't 'agree' with me but he acknowledged I was serious. We talked a lot - god we talked all the time, it was exhausting.

H agreed to stop the groping (that really upset me, more than the sulking). And he did. There were a couple of occasions when he went to grope me sort of out of habit, and he checked himelf and apologised.

He asked to be put on a work project which meant he was abroad for 2 weeks. That was good, we talked every night, he hated being away from us and it was valuable for me to realise I could 'cope' (albeit in an artificial way), as an effectively single parent.

I went away with my best friend for 5 days, H took the time off work to look after the DCs.

TBH even after all that we still argued, resented each other, but then it was like the sun was slowly coming out from behind the clouds. I had a health issue and H was amazing. He has arranged his hours so he takes the DCs to school in the mornings (this was always a horrible fight for me, often had to wake up youngest DC). He is just nicer to me, and nicer to be around.

He also started talking about stress at work, stress about our finances. We talked seriously about them (and about going bankrupt), and came to terms with that, which meant we were less angry with each other about that too.

I've gone on for pages and pages now. But we didn't have one big problem which we could solve easily, so it's hard to pinpoint what we 'did'.

The main thing for me was having a realistic exit plan, and agreeing with myself that I was going to leave if things continued as they were. Giving myself 'permission' to do all the things I felt I couldn't do ('break up the family', 'end up in a council flat', 'take the DCs out of school', 'be alone forever'), was very freeing.

OP posts:
boxofwater · 06/12/2011 19:32

Oh and we have sex now and it's good! Though the first few times were a bit awkward and teenage (wine helped).

At first we said we'd only do it at my instigation but I actually hated that, it made it too much of a 'reward' system and I felt obligated again. It felt like a step backwards.

So we started sleeping together and H (off his own bat), started complimenting me non-sexually - previously he'd only 'praise' me in sexual terms, which I hated (it wasn't always like that but it's how it had gotten). And one day he was having a shower and I went in to brush my teeth and thought 'rowr, he looks gorgeous' (he took up a martial art, to give him an interest outside of work/obsessing over money/grumping around the house), and jumped in with him, and he was so delighted and not at all 'wary' (he'd gotten wary, which I guess makes sense in the context), and that was the start of being back on track.

We aren't setting the world on fire or anything but we have fun and there's no resentment when a snog and a fumble doesn't go any further, no comments if one of us was up for it and the other one was too tired and no expectation either.

Sorry for the TMI Blush

OP posts:
lukewarmMulledWhine · 06/12/2011 19:39

Not tmi at all - its absolutely great to hear a positive story on this board. Congratulations!

Smum99 · 06/12/2011 20:25

Good to hear a positive story. So glad it has worked out for you.

boxofwater · 06/12/2011 21:37

Thankyou :) I just wanted to let people know that it can happen. Not resting on our laurels just yet though of course.

OP posts:
Soccermom2 · 06/12/2011 22:23

Its great to read this. The problems seem very similar to our problems (the groping, sexual references etc). Things are slowly improving. It can turn into a vicious cycle, he gropes, i get annoyed and dont want anything, he is sexually deprived and gropes me even more!

I feel there is hope after reading this so thank you Grin

flatbellyfella · 07/12/2011 15:30

Well done Boxofwater that's a great event to happen between you both,so happy for you. Hope your health is ok.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 07/12/2011 16:27

congratulations !

I think the key that you have demonstrated here is that you have to be perfectly serious and perfectly prepared to leave if things do not improve in measurable and demonstrable ways

I hope and expect you have a plan in place were he to start sliding back into his disrespectful patterns of behaviour Xmas Smile

LivingwiththeFamished · 07/12/2011 16:32

What a great thread, with great tips. So happy for you!

TinselMakesSantaBonkers · 08/12/2011 00:24

Cheers! Wine
It does take courage to look at ourselves with honesty and to evolve if needed. Good for you!

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