First time counselling

[theredhen]

DP and I have our first session of counselling tonight. Everytime I try and talk to him about our problems he tries to minimise them by saying I am making a fuss over nothing or he will say that he has issues with me too or that I am incapable of having a relationship. I have learnt to keep my mouth shut because I find his responses upsetting but now I am going to have to say it all and I am feeling very apprehensive.

Any tips from those who have done it?

Hi redhen,
I hope it goes really well.
Horrible when people minimise. I'm sure the counsellor will be well onto tactfully addressing any minimising they witness. my bloke used to minimise what I used to say but our counsellor pointed out the error of his ways-was a revelation and things are 100 fold better with our communication.
No tips-just be yourself. the counsellor won't force you to say anything and should be able to pick up on the fact if you don't feel comfortable to talk.
Good luck

Im in week 5 or 6 myself. I was very uncharacteristically nervous, but I made a list and referred to it.

It has been brilliant, and he admitrted my points in counsellin g whereas he hadnt for years at home. Not sure whether the fact it was an older man who is the counsellor helped, but maybe.

Good luck.

Well we have been and despite my initial nervousness, I feel it went well. the counsellor really picked up on my partners inability to talk about his feelings without getting angry or defensive. I know he found it very difficult but has said he will go back and has really picked up on what she has said. Thanks for the input.

That sounds very positive for you both. Is this a last chance option for you or are you trying to sort out problems before theyget too bad?
Can I ask how you approached the subject. I would love to try and get my dh to counseling but have no idea how to go about it.

This is the last chance option a far as in concerned. a few days after a row I just told him I wanted counselling and he agreed whilst yet again saying I was making a fuss and he thought everything was fine. I've waited a long time and I'm sceptical he can do it because I think he has a lot of work to do. I am very glad its brought up exactly what I've felt and that I'm really not making a fuss over nothing.

Five - do you think you are going to need many more sessions?

That sounds like the same situation as my house.
I do hope it works for you.
Where have you gone to? Relate or somewhere else?