He is 24 btw.
The background - I no longer speak to my mother as she is a horrible person who has never tried or made an effort to build a relationship with me (met her properly when I was 17, she didn't raise me, she left me with my gran and buggered off). However I have always got on very well with my brother, who was 7 when I met him, and we love each other dearly.
DB has lived in america on a restricted visa for 3 years. He is back in the Uk for a while and has consulted an immigration attorney in order to apply for a longer visa which will mean he can stay and work in the US for some years. This is costing acouple of grand.
DB has arranged to come up to stay with me next weekend and stay until dd's 16th birthday. My mother has now said that she doesn't want DB to come and stay with me, as it would be disloyal. If he does come up she will refuse to pay for the visa (she is giving him 5 grand to pay for the visa and go towards his buying a car). DB really needs this money.
My mother has also said that dd should come down to her house (where DB is staying) on her birthday. My mother lives a 2 hour drive away. We did this last year - despite my not speaking to my mother my dd still has a relationship with her, and I drove dd down to Devon to see my mother. Which meant that dd spent 4 hours of her birthday in a car, which is not ideal, and I said that I would prefer not to do that again. Apparently my mother said that dd should go down on the train - but it is 2 buses and 3 trains to get there (the arse end of nowhere).
To keep the bloody peace and to keep dd happy we would probably drive her down there, however dd has got her moped CBT test on her birthday, which finishes at 4pm, and has got a party at cadets at 7pm, so we will barely see her anyway, but with my brother here we were planning to have a late dinner, and of course he is supposed to be here the preceding weekend anyway. We cannot go down to Devon the preceding weekend of her birthday anyway as I cannot drive at the moment due to medication I am on, and DP is working that weekend.
Oh god anyway, the real point is WHY is my mother being so bloody dictatorial. DD is going to be so upset - we hardly see my brother anyway, and we are not planning to see him over christmas. My bloody fucking mother. I understand why my brother is doing what she says because of the money, but to me it sums up my whole crappy, selfish family.
I haven't told dd yet. Just got off the phone to my aunt (the only other family member I speak to, the rest are like characters from Shameless) and she is sympathetic, but knows that there is no solution.
Just ranting really. Am feeling down in the dumps anyway about the bloody family situation and this just adds to it.