Wow i didn't expect to react like this!!!

[craftyknickers]

As some of you are aware I was in a very abusive relationship for 2yrs and I left 4 months ago.

I have re-built my life and I'm slowly getting my confidence back.

I have been sorting some stuff out and I've come across a photo (I thought I'd thrown them all away)

I am now sat here shaking and crying. I feel physically sick.

I kind of put his face to the back of my mind. But seeing him has just made me feel so angry!!!!

I'm a bit shocked I've reacted like this. I feel pure hatred when I look at it.

I don't know the point of the post I just needed to talk about it as I feel silly telling my family I'm crying over a photo.

Hey there

Don't be hard on yourself. In your shoes I'd be the same... and then I'd burn it.

Of course you are angry; you have only recently got yourself out of the situation. Take heart, many people would react the same.

Well done on getting away from the a-hole and never look back.

xx

You got away craftyknickers - onwards and upwards (hugs)

IKexactlyWYM - sorting through old stuff, finding a reminder of something long past and suddenly being plunged back and overwhelmed by rage or sadness. But I think it can be a bit like a snake shedding a skin, sometimes afterwards you feel refreshed and much more focussed.
AS Finally says, onwards ...

Thank you for your words of support. It's so good to know I'm not being silly.

It was so weird looking at it again.

I took great pleasure in tearing it up!!

I was in the picture too and it had made me realise how far I've come. Looking at myself back then just reminded me how unhappy I was.

I think people call this a trigger? It passes, thankfully, but is an indication of the trauma you have suffered.

my terrifyingly abusive ex died suddenly and ds got his jacket, which he wore all the time. Gosh, that was hard having his jacket in the house. If I see pictures of ex - which I did recently in a very unexpected context - I have a kind of flat, dead feeling. Sometimes (not often) I look at his face and can't believe that one human being could have caused so much suffering.

Well done for getting out OP. It's not been that long ago eh but you come so far in such a short time I found.

2 years after I'd left my abusive ex I bumped into him unexpectedly, he was sowing his "nice" side that day and complimented me on looking nice, I walked away thinking "yeh because I'm actually "allowed to wear what I want, grow my hair long, wear a skirt and make up!" I was really shook up too and I went to my mums and cried, it felt so strange, I felt really angry with him but also with myself for ever allowing him to dictate how I should live my life!

I think it's been hard on my DH (who i've been with for 10yrs now) because it made me so hard in some ways, I am so determined I will never ever be told what to do by a man ever again! I also look for ulterior motives when DH is just trying to be loving and nice, and that's after 10yrs of being free and a few yrs of counselling. I remember listening to this a lot to start with, I don't know if it would help you and I also read a book called women who love too much

Most days I don't think about it, if I do it's like it happened to someone else.

Onwards!