Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Why is he so tight?

15 replies

brandrethmupp · 03/12/2011 00:33

I am helping at the school Christmas Fair tomorrow for 5 or 6 hours. Am taking dd with me as she'll want to do some of the activities. I asked not so 'd' p if he'd come and collect dd if she gets bored or perhaps come and see some of the stalls with her while I'm helping. He replied, 'This isn't something I'll have to pay for is it? Because I'm certainly not doing that!' He couldn't conceive that 1, Giving up £1 or 50p or whatever to get in is nothing in the scheme of things 2, The entrance cost gos towards the PTA fund to buy things for the school and 3, It will mean he can take dd to Santa's grotto while I'm on the stall. If I was to get in his warped mind I'd imagine his perception of this is - she's trying to get me to do something boring and pointless and not only that - making me pay for it.
Little things like this frustrate me so much. Why is he like this? Should I make allowances for the fact that his brain is just wired bizarrely and he doesn't mean any harm or is he a tight nasty git?!

OP posts:

Anniegetyourgun · 03/12/2011 00:35

Tight git certainly. Would need more information to comment on whether also nasty.

thenightsky · 03/12/2011 00:36

aye, he is a tight arse.

GypsyMoth · 03/12/2011 00:37

I wouldn't want to be anywhere near the school fair either to be honest!

Original poster

brandrethmupp · 03/12/2011 00:48

Neither would I to be honest SaraS. I'm not so fussed about whether he comes. I'm just so irritated that he equates it with being cheated out of a pound particularly as he's not exactly poor.

OP posts:

SolidGoldVampireBat · 03/12/2011 00:50

Is it just school fairs he's like this about? If so, if he's a good bloke the rest of the time, it might not be worth getting annoyed over. However, if he's always moaning about having to put himself out or spend money on anything that doesn't directly benefit him, then you are not unreasonable to be pissed off.

PigletJohn · 03/12/2011 00:55

give him the pound.

Original poster

brandrethmupp · 03/12/2011 00:58

No he doesn't have a bee in his bonnet about school fairs:) He is like this. He is the type to drive round for an hour looking a for a road to park in for free. You can't argue with him because there is logic in his thinking. Why pay for something pointlessly when you don't have to? There's no middle ground. He doesn't see the hour spent driving round (while he gets more frustrated that he can't find a space) is a cost - a cost of our time and of my patience. he is obsessed with not wasting money. he thinks that my annoyance with this means that I love to waste money and do it to spite him - neither of which are remotely true.
Has anyone else got a partner/husband like this?

OP posts:

Original poster

brandrethmupp · 03/12/2011 01:01

I would happily give him the pound. He would say that as he earns a lot more than me, it's his pound I'm giving him. That's why he's not just a git but a nasty git!!

OP posts:

Sloobreeus · 03/12/2011 01:02

Is it really about the £1 or is it that he really does not want to be bothered with having to look after his own child attending the school fair and is making the money an excuse? Why not put it to him that it's an opportunity for him to bond with his DD get her out of her mother's evil clutches? Suggest these notions to him then make a great thing of giving him the £1.

izzywhizzysmincepies · 03/12/2011 04:53

He's Scrooge personified except he's not going to pay any heed to the ghosts of Christmas past, present, or future unless you feed him some particularly toxic bacteria ridden cheese or salmonella riddled boiled eggs for breakfast.

Meaness of wallet and spirit are the ultimate turn off for me. I wouldn't be making any allowances for his parsimony. I'd give him a £1 coin and tell him to seek admission elsewhere as there's no way he'd putting any of his coins in my slot again.

littlemisssarcastic · 03/12/2011 10:03

How does he feel about paying for other things such as regular bills, mortgage/rent, days out, gifts for christmas/birthdays etc?

Not sure if he's a tight nasty git though.

I would park for free if I could, but not if it meant driving around for half an hour looking for another space..that kind of defeats the object.

If he is more of a bargain hunter, but you don't actually go without anything, and just save money, that's ok isn't it?

kikibo · 03/12/2011 11:22

Well, if he is very very stingy, he'll not even want to spend the 1 pound coin you give him.

My father works for an incredibly stingy man: he has no heating after the last boiler broke as he was going to repair it himself (that's cheaper) but he never got round to it. That is about the 5th winter I think... He sells large scale brail printers of his own design (one of only 2 companies in the world) and tells his customers when he is convinced they don't need something. Also if the customer insists, he will not sell the thing to them (this is about 10s of thousands of euros!). He drives through the whole of Europe at 75 km/h on the motor way to service them, instead of taking the plain to e.g. Paris. It is cheaper. He never sleeps in a hotel, but in his van (which he drives in), despite that it would be at the customers' expense. He takes his food with him, eevn for a three week's stay. He will construct the wooden cases for printers to be sent off himself everytime, instead of ordering them standard, because they fit better, are smaller and therefore cheaper, he will wind coils himself and I can still continue for an hour.

If your partner is really Scrooge, he will save money in your place and you will have to accomodate. It makes for mirth to other people, but I suppose you'll have to live with it. The only thing you can do is think that you'll have a lot of money in the bank after a while, but that said...

buzzswellington · 03/12/2011 11:26

Can't he see the cost of the petrol vs the cost of parking?

Although you probably don't want him thinking about the cost of petrol too much actually, if he's as tight as you say.

He sounds like hard work.

QueenCess · 03/12/2011 12:00

Wait till he finds out how much your divorce will cost him.......that should make him baulk!

Maybe a gentle reminder that this could indeed be a possibility wouldn't go amiss........

springydaffs · 03/12/2011 12:14

any other examples of his tightness OP? Need to get a fuller picture here.

I also rarely pay for parking and would make my own packing cases if it was cheaper. But I wouldn't drive across europe because I love flying and take 3 days' sandwiches with me and sleep in the car. though I have been known to rig up a complicated sleeping system so I can sleep in my estate car without anybody seeing me in the morning

Bit worried at his comment (?) that it's his pound anyway. Have I got that right?

Flip