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[MoreStressedThanUsual]

MN is usually a source of light entertainment to me so haven't found myself posting in this section before.

But things are going badly wrong on the domestic front right now and I don;t know how to get it back on track.

I'm not sure things have been right really since we had DS, not sure why. We have had a lot of stressful events happen over the last 18 months too which hasn;t helped.

Recently we had to move to a new area (DH job) so we now have very little day-to-day support from friends or family, which we were used to. I suppose this is making things worse.

The biggest problem I think is that DH has just simply stopped listening to anything I say. We have quite long conversations about stuff - the house, finances, DS, etc, and then when I refer to them a couple of days later, DH claims not to know what I'm talking about. Also, nothing I suggest ever goes down well, there is always a problem with everything, I have to argue my case all the time.

This irritates me and so we start sniping and then end up both in foul moods, it's a vicious circle.

DH is working hard and I appreciate in teh evenings he is tired and doesn;t want to hear me rabbiting on but sometimes I don;t have a proper conversation with another adult all day, so I want to talk in the evenings. Also, I am not talking about chit chat, I am talking about serious things or stuff that as a family we just need to discuss.

Need somehow to break this cycle. Any ideas?

My dh is a bit like that. Works hard and just has no attention span once he gets home. He doesn't remember things I have said, to do things he has promised to do and is constantly putting things away in odd places. It's a bit like living with someone who is a bit senile

That said, it can be wearing. Does he know he is doing it or does he deny it? Is there a better time to talk about things, perhaps when he is a bit more alert? I've found that choosing my moment is everything.

There doesn't ever seem to be a good time anymore, I think that's the problem. He just seems to be so grumpy all the time, with no patience for anything.

TBH I think a lot is to do with the stress of his job, but he won;t give himslef a break from it. It seems to be consuming all his energy.

Stressed - you have just described my relationship since DS was born (April 05) to a tee! Things came to a head over Christmas when we hd a row about it (I'm normally Mrs Un-Confrontational!) and I told just how much I hated how we had become and was seriously wondering if I wanted to carry on with it. He was gob-smacked - I think he was just so wrapped up and stressed in his work that he genuinely didn't see how he had become or how much it was affecting me and DS. Do you think this could be the case with your DH? Would it be worth saying, on a Thursday for instance, "right, when DS has gone to bed on Saturday we need to have a serious chat about things"?

Check me out - have I killed another thread?! (wink)

Sorry I had a minor emergency after I posted and taken most of the day to sort it.

Spoke to DH briefly and he admits he is very tired. Am actually feeling more worried about him than annoyed this evening.

Think I am going to try and back off as much as possible and let things lie. Thanks for your help earlier.