Pals who aren't married and don't have kids.............................

[ssd]

I'm nearly 40 and my friend for years has been acting really off. She is really off with me and I feel our friendship is disappearing. I never rub it in that she's single, I'm a lot more sensitive than that. I didn't get married till almost 30, I know what it's like to feel your the only one still single.

But now I am married with kids I feel like she expects me to apologise that I'm happy and pander to her that she's not. After a long time I've realised she's probably not had a long relationship cos of her moods, she can really be moody and stroppy and make you feel like she hates you. Eg. if she calls when I'm putting the kids to bed and dh tells her this she goes "well tell her to call me when she HAS got time" and hangs up on him! FGS I'm only putting my kids to bed not out at some wild party.......
I know when you've not got kids it's hard to imagine what it's like but I feel as she's getting older she's becoming really bitter and moody and I can't be bothered with her. That may sound harsh but over the years she's always been short with me and I've tried to keep her moods up and I feel with 2 kids and an elderly mum to look after I haven't got the energy to pander to her anymore.

I 'lost' my best friend (of 15 years) in this manner. But have come closer to others because of my change in status. In a way I think it all balances out...

yes, it probably will. My friend and I seem to only have history in common these days

Some of the things your friend has done are definitely unfair but please try not to be too hard on her

Everyone in my life thinks I don't want children, truth is I would love to have a baby but can't (long story) and TBH I would have to avoid any friends who were pregnant - not because I'd want to, I just wouldn't be able to face them. Maybe your friend feels the same? Having said that, I wouldn't meet up with a pg friend then leave in the manner that she did and then rub it in that I'd had a good time with other friends - I just wouldn't go in the first place

Perhaps you could give the friendship one last try. Maybe a girls night out, just to test the water to see if this relationship is really worth saving?

I fell out with a life long friend because he just couldn't understand how my life is different since I had kids. He expected me to get a babysitter and come out just like I used to, but it doesn't work like that.

I must admit I don't see many of my childless friends these days as we're on different planets.

I hate rifts and would always rather part on good terms though. Or be able to scale down the relationship mutually in accordance with each others practical needs.

I don't think you're being hard. Just realistic. It's sad for both of you.

Thing is, I can understand she wants a partner and kids and I make sure I try to never rub her face in it.
But the other night she was so rude and moody it was totally uncalled for. I had to change the evenings plans as I don't have anyone to babysit so I thought she could come to mine instead of me going to hers-big deal. And she throws a total strop.
I just can't be bothered pandering to her moods anymore, if she calls me fine I'll talk as usual but I don't think I'll feel the same way towards her again. I suppose as some of you have said that's just something that sometimes happens when you have a completely different life to a friend.