Should I get pregnant...

[sarem]

... even though I don't really want to? I'm new to Mumsnet but really need some advice! I've been going out with my boyfriend for a couple of years. He's a lovely guy, and fairly close to my son who is 12. My son's father is totally hopeless and I've had a lot of trouble with him in the past. My current boyfriend was married before and had two children, but tragically his family died in a car crash. He really, really wants us to have children together, but I feel that this stage in my life is over and that I want to move on to other things. I'm just pleased that my son is growing up and becoming more independent! But I fear that the relationship with my boyfriend isn't going to last if I don't get pregnant. What should I do? I'm really really torn!

NO!

if you don't want a baby then you shouldn't have one!

Kind of obvious isnt it? No.

Has someone been watching ER by any chance?

ah, NO

Also, you fear the relationship wont last if you don't get pregnant - well, think about whether or not you will resent him if you do, especially when you're up at 3 am and he's sound asleep .....

oh, coppertop - well done - i totally missed it

Urh no! That would be the worst idea possible. If you don't not do it for yourself please don't do it for the child that you may concieve. There is nothing worse than a mother who has a child that she never wanted. (Believe me, I do know this from painful experience) I know it will be hard but surely if you're boyfriend loves you then he should respect your feelings? I hope you find a way to settle your differences that doesn't involve concieving an unwanted child.

But just think how pretty the baby would be

Do you have fears about the child having some sort of illness that would make him more dependent on you?

It's not a good idea to have a baby that you don't really want and then what if you still split up later. It sounds to me like you want different things in life, perhaps you should both look for someone who is going in the same direction.

Do yourself, your son and your boyfriend a HUGE favour and end this relationship.

You deserve the independence you've earned after enduring those difficult younger years as a single mum. Your son deserves a happy mum. Your boyfriend deserves a person who truly wants to have kids w/him.

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but what if it looks like the mum?

also, if you are skint, and he is rich, then maybe it's not such a bad idea .

God, you are a heartless bunch - there is a woman in genuine need of advice here and you just take the mickey!

Interesting choice of name, btw... sarem...

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