Confused about my feelings - I think he's sweet then he contradicts that

[RedBed]

I have been with someone for around 8 months. I have always been so confused about my feelings with him and I don't know why. He can be really nice and funny one minute and the next he just irritates me. Take yesterday - he picked me up from work and had brought me a sandwich and flask of coffee so I had something to eat as soon as I left work. That's nice, right? Then we're driving along and I'm speaking to him, he sees someone crossing the road, thinks he'd be well within his rights to run them over because he has right of way so he suddenly ends my sentance mid flow with "yeah" and speeds up towards the pedestrian! That's not nice, it's bloody stupid and been cut off mid sentance is actually really annoying too.
Moving on, we have a little private joke about the wrestler "The Rock" being called "The Cock". Childish I know but as I say, it is a private thing. So we're in the middle of Tesco and he shouts "Did you say you wanted that magazine with The Cock on the front? hehehe!" - this shouted in front of a couple and an old woman. He doesn't seem to understand social norms at all. He's embarrassing. We're in H&M and he branches off to go and look at the men's section, I go and look at the kids' section. I bump into someone I know, exchange a hello and he comes marching back across ranting about how all the shirts are in small, medium and large and there is no XL and do they think all men have a six pack and not all men want to wear skinny fit shirts etc etc - it was so embarrassing, my friend just smiled and walked off.
We get home and he says he has a present for me - he pulls out a terry's chocolate orange. Great, I love them! I thank him and he says "I got it because it was reduced to 50p". He does this with everything. Fair enough if he sees something cheap/reduced and thinks I might want it - but to display it as a present and then instantly tell me it was reduced??

But as I said, other times he's great. He does my gardening for me, spent a day helping me decorate, takes me into town, buys me lunch etc - but other times he's deliberatly trying to run people over, coming out with innapropriate stuff in public and ranting like mad over silly things that just make him look a twat.

My feelings are so confused. I could spend a day with him spending the first half wishing he'd just disappear and the 2nd half thinking we could really make things work.

What are you doing with someone like this; all he is doing is now dragging you down with him. Think your relationship radar is on the blink and needs retuning i.e being without him.

This comment too is very worrying:-
"At times he's deliberatly trying to run people over, coming out with innapropriate stuff in public and ranting like mad over silly things that just make him look a twat".

All the above are signs of a type of bloke called The Loser. He is bad news all round. He shows a complete lack of respect for yhou and other people.

What do YOU get out of this relationship now?.

Actually too the sandwich and coffee for you straight after work could be seen as controlling behaviour on his part; you were not given a choice were you?. What would his reaction have been if you said that this was not necessary?.

Could you talk to him and back up your worries with a few examples as you've given here?
He sounds quite childish really, I don't know if I could continue on with someone like this.

Didn't you post about this guy before?

I do enjoy some times we have together though Attila, he seems to go through phases where sometimes he'll worse than other times. The road rage stuff is pretty bad continuously though, he'll often start ranting about people never "fucking look when they cross the road" but the way he deliberatly speeds up towards them really worries me. The fact that he automatically tunes out of what I'm saying in order to do this as well is worrying because it comes across that his main priority here is enforcing his right of way. Last weekend he picked me up from a night out (he offered and I took him up on it) at 3am in the morning - that was sweet wasn't it? we get home and he tries it on (I was sober so not trying to take advantance of a drunken woman here). I tell him no, I'm tired. We go to sleep. Next morning he tries it on again. I've had barely any sleep and my head is pounding so I say I'm not in the mood. He says "ok, but you won't escape it next weekend!" - now he says this in a joking fashion but really he means it because he's been dropping hints about this weekend ever since almost as if he's reminding me that sex is on the cards next weekend. What if I don't want to next weekend either? I catch myself thinking "well I can't get out of it next weekend because he's gone on about it so much, it would be unfair" but surely this expectation is unfair on ME?

But other times we have a really good time, he constantly tells me how much he loves me, that he'd do anything for me, we do have a laugh etc but there's always that niggle that all is far from well iyswim?

It seems to me you don't like him very much. Yes he has good points but he has plenty of bad points that really get on your nerves. If you knew him through a friend and he wanted to be your flatmate would you say yes? If the answer is no then you know that you need to get rid. Oh and if the sex thing pisses you off why don't you tell him? If you feel you can't tell him then that's a huge problem and another good reason for ending it.

Road rage is a fairly reliable red flag OP - it shows that he has problems controlling his aggression. Chances are, that sooner or later that aggression will be directed at you. Not that I'm suggesting he will turn violent even...even verbal aggression is intolerable. To rudely cut you off mid sentence to have a rant, and to speed up towards the pedestrian is quite telling. His aggression is more important than his manners.

Also the sex-next-weekend thing. It does seems as though he is going to make it difficult for you to refuse him, without it turning into an ISSUE.

Think on think on....trust your instincts.

Abusers can also do nice/nasty very well but its a continuous cycle as you are already seeing. I would have to also agree with Pictish here and I will state that this man is Bad News for you.

Re your recent night out, ok so he offered to take you home at 3am but I think this was also done by him also to keep an eye on you. What if you had instead said no I'll book a taxi in advance?.

There are many red flags with this man in terms of his underlying aggression so think on. Listen to you niggly voice; it is telling you this for a reason. Things are not right and it won't improve.

about the sex thing! No no no, this is all wrong. Did he pick you up because he was horny, perhaps ? Either way he had no right to harass you like that, and no no no to you 'owing' him sex at the weekend like that. Please don't Eberhave sex because you think you owe it to someone or that it's mean if you don't because you've been leading him on. Respectful relationships just don't work along these lines.

I am on my phone so a bit slow, but have you come across www.baggagereclaim.co. uk before ? There was an excellent article published recently about if there is any bad in your relationship that always outweighs the good even if the good takes up more time, is more extravagant or whatever .

My ex [hint] used to speed up if there were pedestrians on the road 'in his way'

And 'you won't escape it next weekend' - absolutely vile. (And I hate the BS when people say nasty or negative things 'as a joke' - it's only ever funny to the loser saying it)

It all points to a sense of entitlement - I wouldn't trust the man with anything sharper than a spoon, let alone form any relationship with him.

Yes yes yes to whoever suggested baggagereclaim it speaks my branes on so much :o

The bit I was referring to was on their Facebook page actually, but go! Read ALL the articles !

You are not married to him so that you "have to" try to work things out. And you have no children together. Imagine if you did! You are not obliged to stay with him!!!! I am not even discussing his behaviour!!!!

He picked you up at 3am and tried it on in order to "mark his territory" - you may be permitted to go out without him, but as soon as you're out the pub door, you belong to him again and he needs to make that very clear to you. You are required to "submit" to this, as soon as possible, to make it clear that you are his property and that any other life you have is subject to his needs/wants first and foremost.

The nice/nasty cycle will continue. And the nasty will get worse. If he thinks people who are inconvenient to him are fair game to run over, don't you think this attitude will also extend to girlfriends who are not behaving the way he thinks they should?

Redbed just admit it's over. No point nit picking about his do's and don'ts. It's clear to see that he just isn't for you. Be brave and tell him.

Any man is not better than no man.

Get rid.

As Attila has said, this guy's a loser and you're best advised to lose him now before he manages to score 10 points a driving ban and possible incaceration for knocking down a pedestrian while you're in the passenger seat.

In common with pictish, your post rang bells with me but, on further recollection, the other loser largely confined his twattishness to marked down or remaindered chocs and other bargain basement finds.

It is to be hoped the other OP has acted on the unaminous advice to divest herself of the burden of being accompanied by a socially inept buffoon.

Do you really want a twat who sounds like his twin brother to be your +1 because once they've found a sucker, these men stifle the life out of their victims.

If things are like this in the early days and you aren't pregnany yet then you're better off out of there.

He sounds like he has some Aspergers' tendencies btw.

when will you get shut of him ?

when he actually runs a pedestrian over ?