How do you learn how to like/respect yourself?

[TheHouseMistress]

That's it really.
He can't respect me much can he,if I don't respect myself.
I want to know, how do you do it?

By getting to know yourself. By getting to know your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and your dislikes. By accepting yourself, warts and all. By loving and respecting yourself. By making sure that you always come from a place of personal integrity and honour, and by staying true to your values.

This is extremely difficult, in fact nigh on impossible, to achieve if you are involved in an abusive or non-supportive relationship where any positive thoughts you have about yourself are continually undermined in word and/or deed.

If this is your situation, please try to get away at least for a few days so that you can begin the process that may enable and encourage you to leave for good and become all that you can be.

There is a wealth of self-help information available on the net; I recommend Brad Yates EFT (emotional freedom technique) videos that are freely available if you search his name in youtube.

These videos only last a few minutes and all you have to do is say Brad's words out loud while copying his actions. Choose from any of the titles that appeal to you and view the videos daily as many times as you want - and if any of the words have a particular resonance for you, adopt them as your personal mantra.

I never fancied the thought of therapy or thought it would be for me but after 6 sessions of CBT have gained a lot of self esteem back, learned how to tackle difficult conversations with an emotionally abusive partner and how to stand up for myself and my feelings. I'm not saying it's for everyone but I'd recommend it. moodgym (search on Google) is quite good too for helping with what it terms 'warpy thoughts' - ie those that make you question yourself, think the worst, take on blame, expect too much of yourself, over analyse other people's perception of you etc. I found it quite useful but the face to face therapy definitely very helpful. Good luck - hope you feel much better soon!