I don't even know where to begin!
Suppose I should start from the first time this happened.
She split with my dad when I was 8 (im now 31) since then the only 'relationships' she's had is with married men. You know the story, they never leave the wife, she's upset, me and my brothers deal with the fall out.
She's suffered with bad depression since she was 14 years old and has been hospitalised for it when we were young. She's very bitter about alot of things and has very low self esteem.
Fast forward to 6 years ago, she started seeing another married man.
He's constantly lied to her, conned her out of alot of money resulting in her losing the family home. He eventually left his wife last year to move in with my mum, 2 weeks later my mum was at work when she recieved a phone call from a neighbour saying the police were at the house. She went home only for the police to tell her that he asked them to escort him out of the house for his own safety!!!! Turns out his wife found out where he was so instead of telling the truth he lied through his teeth (he hadn't told his wife he was leaving, just left without a word with no other contact so she reported him missing)
My mum was in bits. she's only 5ft and wouldn't hurt a fly!
Anyway she started seeing him again a few weeks later much to our disapproval.
One day we were sat in my house when he phoned, they were having a polite chat when he suddenly put the phone down. My mum said she had heard his teenage daughter pick up the phone and demand to know who he was speaking to. 2 hours later she phoned to say the ####### had phoned the police saying she had called him and had been harrassing him for 2 months. My mum then had to show them all the messages on her phone, valentines card etc and I spoke to them telling them they were in fact seeing each other again to prove she hadn't actually done anything wrong.
They warned him they would arrest him for wasting police time if he did this again.
This is only some of the things he has done, this is just the tip of the ice berg!
As you can imagine my mum went downhill rapidly, was seeing a psychiatrist, was almost hospitalised again a few months ago for severe depression. Its been hell for me and my brothers, we were worried sick and spent every moment we could with her. We often got together and broke down as we had seen this before years ago.
We found out last night that she is seeing this man again! Apparently he has left his wife.
We told her we would not go through this with her again, 6 years in long enough. We want a relationship with her as she's a lovely mum and grandmother but we told her he is not welcome in our home.
She has completely gone banana's on us saying we shouldn't be telling her what to do with her life and if she wants to see him she will and that while we're are at home with our partners at night she's at home alone.
I totally understand she's lonely, but she has been a nightmare to be around the last year or so, whenever he ##### her off she takes it out on us, we all end up arguing. Its awful, I don't think I've got it in me to do it all again with her. The trips to the psychiatrist, her screaming at me in the shop or talking of taking her own life etc... I just can't do it! My brothers feel exactly the same.
Even just thinking about what happened last time upsets me and im at a loss of what to do or say to her.
I can't even look at her right now.
Are we being selfish for feeling this way? Sometimes I feel like the mother!