Anniversaries

[Horsemad]

Most years I don't want to buy a card, but usually do or he sulks. I think they are a waste of money.

Last year he didn't buy a card (unusual for him - he is very into cards). If I don't bother this year, am I going to look churlish?

Why wouldn't you do something that you know would make him happy?

You shouldn't even have to ask this question. He likes cards, he'd be sad if you didn't bother... it's a no-brainer if you ask me.

I guess I just see cards as a waste of time, I'm not a card person. To me, it's all about how two people act on a daily basis, not about making a big song and dance on certain 'special' days.

But you know it would make him happy so why not just do it for him?

Lots of things would make me happy, but they won't happen, so I just have to get over it.

If you know it would make him happy why don't you think it's worth it?
I love getting cards more then presents as it's all I want to know that it's not forgotten.

From your last post it seems that you're expecting something he's not giving you... Is that the real issue?

Hi, I guess what I'm trying to say is that despite not wanting to, I've usually made the effort and sent a card, but if I stuck to my guns this year and didn't send one, would it be seen as churlish considering he didn't send one last year?

Also, I suppose I am resentful, we have a fair few issues and I've realised that nothing's going to change, so I either have to accept that or end it and if I have to suck it up, then why shouldn't he if things don't necessarily go the way he wants (ie not receiving cards).

If there's issues and you're not happy you have to talk to him. I obviously don't know the details but sucking up all the time doesn't work. It will all blow over at some point.

If you don't want to buy a card cos you're unhappy in your relationship and you think it needs work, you shouldn't get him a card as it looks like you don't feel like there's something to celebrate. But you need to let him know why...