Can anyone spare an orgasm?

[sexuallyfrustrated]

Must go with anonymity on this one girls.

This isn't a huge problem for me, but something that I think about now and again and then it bothers me (as i thought about it this morning, hence this thread)

The fact is that in the 4 years we've been together my dh has never given me an orgasm, neither penetrative or oral/hand. At the beginning of our relationship he was concerned about it but as I've never been someone to climax through penetration (how I envy these women who can climax through penetration alone!), and also so not to dampen his confidence I'd constantly reassure him I didn't mind. And I really didn't. Instead, I would touch myself during sex and we'd both enjoy an orgasm. I was hoping that as our relationship progressed he'd try to 'discover' me more but he never did.

Now he seems to take it for granted that I won't have an orgasm and doesn't do anything to help me. I'll get initial arousal from him through breast stimulation and brief touches 'down there' but that's as far as he takes it. I often give him oral/hand sex but I never get it in return. I know that he would if I asked but then it feels very false and I feel very unsexy knowing that I've asked him to and we end up getting nowhere. In these situations I end up feeling half horny, completely unsatisfied, quietly frustrated and often finishing myself in the bathroom if IYKWIM (oh my, what a pretty picture I must make !!! ) )

In the past year it's been getting to the stage that if I feel horny I'd actually rather him be out so that I can do it myself cos I know that with him I'll be left unsatisfed.

It's not him not caring, it's because I'm his first sexual partner and he was INCREDIBLY unconfident at first, and still he doesn't really know what to do when it comes to anything below the breast.

I have talked to him numerous times about it but he frequently ends up feeling bad about himself, or he tries to stimulate me but then it all seems so false and I'd feel under pressure to get turned on so we'd both end up upset and frustrated.

Does anyone else have any insights/advice/simiar situations...? I really don't want to think I'll have to be 'DIY'ing for the rest of my life!!

DL, haven't you ever watched a woman eat a magnum?

Beetroot: YOU do nothing! remember, your body is a temple, this week

Or are you just trying to get us to swop sex tips with DL???

I get it now. LOL

Re-reading this thread I realise that my earler post could be miscontrued, I do have orgasms (lots of them , very good ones ) ) but the same as sf dont have them thru penetration.

and not on my own

i dont get it ! i dont like magnums very much ( no am not talking in metaphore) and when i see people eat them they bite and it crumbles - surley there is a better ice cream metaphore?

orgasms what's that????

sorry...just hoping that someone else was online....having VVV bad evening!!

Is anyone still there?? gee would love a chat right noe...don't know 'bout what but just a chat!!

What does IYKWIM or IYSWIM mean?

After many weeks of trying to work it out - I just have Does it mean "If you know what I mean?"

sounds about right!! If you see what I mean..or if you know what I mean!! bit like stupid text messaging language??

I'm eternally grateful to xDW2 who did not hesitate to tell me how to improve my technique.
She never said "You're doing it wrong" it would be more "It would be better for me if you did it slightly differently".

DP should be grateful to xDW2 as well, but wouldn't appreciate me telling her!

The DIY display is an excellent idea (keep the lights on).

Woaaah !!! - it's been a busy dirty thread while I've been away (Magnums??)

Anyway, thanks to all your wonderful advice I went out yesterday to buy lots of body polishing products to make myself feel splendiferous (lovely strawberry body cream they've got in Boots) and hopefully make hublet feel more eager to 'have a go'. Will also wax to ensure the area is perfectly groome, a treat to behold!

Will let you all know how we go this weekend

sf
get all dirty with him ie
do a dance, a striptease, get drunk and fool around etc
role play-get dressed up
and dont let him touch you for days.
Let him GAG for it and he will soon do what you want

Good luck, SF, just remember, barring a major miracle, it won't all happen at once, so don't set yourself up for fireworks and then feel let down, be happy with ANY move forwards at this point. Anything is a start.

I personally like the Boddingtons advert where the woman gets off on her partner role-playing a barman pouring a pint of Boddies! That's what I call a true Northerner! Sod the sex, just get me a pint of Guinness and I'm in Heaven!

SF - Any updates?

Nothing. Zero. We've cuddled but nothing more. Then again, I've not had chance to use my magic body potions yet (!) so i don't really feel all that sexy, and with a young baby our chances are few. To be honest, the thought of 'trying' to make things happen isn't making me feel very sexy either. Maybe it's me, not him?!! I really don't know about the stripteasing in front of him. I reckon if anything that might put the pressure on him more cos he'll think 'oh my god, what's she after?!!!'

I will wait til I've got time to do the body pampering so I feel ready and then try to get him to have an early night and just kind of encourage him and keep things light and amusing

SF He will think you are after a good time