We have been married for 16years. We had been married six months before I saw the slightest sign of a sulk, but when he did....what a shock! He sulked for a fortnight. Hardly spoke to me, happily ate the meals I prepared him during the day, but wouldn't even make eye contact with me, let alone physical contact, and at night kept his back to me as far away from me as he could in the bed. It was weeks later that I discovered what it was all about. He'd been through my cheque book,and discovered how much I'd paid for a certain item! (I AM earning!).
This would happen approx every six months about something or other,but more often than not he would not I'd never find out what it was about. I've tried discussing with him, about getting help for him to modify his reactions and I think I've done it in a loving and supportive way, but he looks at me like I'm something he wiped off his shoe.
Seven years ago I became disabled through negligent surgery. It has turned this family upside down. In fairness to my OH he has been very supportive, though we've still had the regular sulks. He's a grafter and can't bear to see me on my pc for a start. I still do nearly all the housework myself, from my wheelchair. He's never short of food or clean clothes. I do the paperwork for the business, but he wanted someone to work outdoors WITH him, not WATCH him do it!
Anyway.....finally.....as I write this he's been in a mood with me for SEVEN WEEKS! He'll speak to me in a platonic way, which is odd. There's no physical contact or eye contact. If there's anything on his plate at meal times that doesn't quite fit the bill, he throws his toys out of the cot. He's getting practically waitress service. Difference this time is that he will hold me in bed, much as a machine wood, but only if I happen to be lying with my back to him. If I turn to face him, he turns his back on me.
I love him dearly, but I can't take any more of this it's killing me. I have two children in their early twenties, who are aware of the situation and who now admit to having been scared of him as little kids. I feel so ashamed that I never realised that. Yes, my OH's dad treated him like dirt and criticised him incessantly. I've tried to explain that this may have some bearing on his behaviour, but he says it's my problem ,not his. He has driven all my friends away as they're scared of him......I don't know what to do. I'm feeling increasingly sad and isolated. Any suggestions please?