Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can't stop thinking about a certain person, other than my husband...

22 replies

Aprillorraine · 26/11/2011 03:12

Last week I went to my husbands christmas party with him. I allowed my self to drink because i noticed that they were all getting wasted. Otherwise i wouldnt have. Hehe.. anyway, i had about 2 cups of orange juice and vodka maybe some other stuff.. after the third one was when i sort of blacked out. (never happens! :-O)i rememember bits and pieces. my husbands sister in law (his brother works there too) wanted to go out dancing. so she came up to me(this i remember) and said nancy lets go! and there was a taxi outside. so we went with some guy...(this isnt the guy i am talking about) to a place to go dancing it was like a hotel bar. so we went there and we were dancing(hah i dont usually dance!) and we were having so much fun! then this guy came that was also at the christmas party. I have seen this guy before at my husbands family get together.. I noticed he was looking at me, then i noticed once he noticed i was with this other guy(my husband) he stopped looking at me! (for some reason i was a bit disapointed) i dont know why. so i saw him and for some reason that i have no idea why, i was completely all over him! (once again, i remember bits and pieces) and i didnt care that my sister in law was around...( i dont know why, but maybe i do..) and well this other guy that my husband works with (i think) was standing there. i remember touching his arm and feeling his muscles and that turned me on so much, then i remember his smell, it is weird because i smell him sometimes while just walking around the house. I get flutters when i think of him. ok and the worst part was, i tried to kiss him, he turned his head and said "no, your with adam" and i said so? (something like that) and i kissed his neck playfully.. he just smiled and sort of laughed like a "oh man" laugh.. after all this i think i grabbed him (wich i dont know why.. and went some where) dont remember much but im sure nothing happend.

Anyway... When it was closing time i asked him, Where is sherry?(my husbands sister in law) he said she left, cause its closing. I said to him "why is there still people here, and why is the music still playing. I dont remember what he said but we walked to the door and he said "If you werent with adam i would the out of you. and told me how hot i was.
and those words are like haunting me!

Now i will talk about my husband,
I feel like ive never had great feelings for my husband. I always just felt secure with him. I was also very lonely when i met him. Extremely lonely. and I never met anyone i actually liked..(i think, including him)there were guys in school that i really liked but i was afraid to talk to them. My husband was easy to talk to, because i didnt have those crazy feelings for him like how i would with other guys that would make me freeze.(i was very shy in highschool and jr high for certain reasons...) i am not shy anymore due to many reasons. The only reason which is the stupidest reason ever, was what i remember, he didnt make me look like i had a low self esteem, as in he isnt ugly, and well everyone liked him, my teachers, my dad, not so much my mom, my sisters...
BY they way! i told him about what i did that night. And i told him how i felt about him all the time and why. ( he still wont break up)
I have always tried to break up with him. Not only because i wasnt attracted to him and didnt feel anything with him but also because he was always so controlling and mean to me. If i ever had the chance to act insecure, i would do it. but all that did was try to make himself kill himself.. ridiculous.

another thing, I have never thought about him while masturbating (haha) which i always thought was weird because it was so easy for me to think of my ex (who i will never see again and dont want to)
Yeah, i thought that was weird that i could not think of my now husband like that, i was never able to... i dont know why.

The only way i could ever "want" to have sex with my husband is if i were to think of other guys and i could give him the best sex ever! (i just noticed this a month ago) and he will say "you think im so sexy" id kinda just say.. "yeah.." hoping it wouldnt convince him too much. because i know its not true. but now he knows i dont think of him during sex and never have because i told him that. He is trying his hardest for us, he will bring me home flowers, write me notes everywhere, send me love songs... i just feel nothing for them i wish he wouldnt do it to be honest... am i evil for being like this?
anyway, he keeps saying to me "u dont even try" though i dont feel like trying. i was sick of his name calling and all his disrespect towards me, and he told me he didnt know what he had.

its frustrating
i still dont want to be with him..
my sister says i will regret it because i dont know what i have.(shes been through this before, though she loves her husband) anyway i know i dont have feelings for my husband... so i wont lose anything there. all i will lose is well a house. but i feel as if my soul wants more than just sitting around the house with my child trying to save money which doesnt happen because my husband spends insanley wastefully.... argh.
anyway just want an opinion really.
thank you!

OP posts:
Aprillorraine · 26/11/2011 03:19

anyway i forgot to mention my 3 year old who i love a lot! but i dont know what to do, i think my son will be a happy child even though i get a divorce, he doesnt need to see his dad disrespect his mom all the time. (btw my son disrespects me too which i believe is a result)

OP posts:
chocolaterainbow · 26/11/2011 03:24

Sorry, do you want an opinion about wether you should stay with your hurband or not?

Well, firstly I'd forget about the man at the party, it's nice to have a distraction but it's not worth hurting your husband to start a silly afair is it.

Have you considered marrige counselling, for the sake of you child at the least.

Aprillorraine · 26/11/2011 03:31

well yeah, ive considered it (even before this) but he wouldnt do it. now he says he cant cause of work.. and i know i should forget about him. but i am confused because ive always wanted to break up with him! not only because of the lack of feelings toward him that i have never felt, but also because hes such an ass to me

OP posts:
moonferret · 26/11/2011 03:40

i dont think of him during sex and never have because i told him that.

all i will lose is well a house.

Love your style (of writing). Cool story sis.

Aprillorraine · 26/11/2011 03:40

oh and id like an opinion on what i should do..

OP posts:
Aprillorraine · 26/11/2011 03:41

haha..shut up. i suck at writing i know!

OP posts:
Aprillorraine · 26/11/2011 03:43

i am going to re write it... i was just being lazy.

OP posts:
moonferret · 26/11/2011 03:46

No, don't..it's good reading. I'm trying to think of some advice right now...

izzywhizzysmincepies · 26/11/2011 03:57

If you've always wanted to break up with him, why did you marry the guy and why bring an innocent child into the equation?

If you'd seriously wanted to get shot of him, surely all it would have taken would have been to say 'I don't' instead of 'I do'?

Barreal · 26/11/2011 04:02

You were silly to get involved with this man to begin with.
I feel sorry for him.
Why did you be with somebody you have never had feelings for?
I don't understand.

izzywhizzysmincepies · 26/11/2011 04:03

Cool story, moonferret? Have you been at the orange juice tonight? Hmm

All those hehe's and haha's have brought to mind that well known ditty 'they're coming to take me away ha ha, they're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha...'.

Any sign of the men in white coats?

izzywhizzysmincepies · 26/11/2011 05:21

Fallen asleep, moonferret?

Hi there, Barreal - d'ya reckon a coffee enema would go some way to sorting out the OP's feelings, or lack thereof, for her h?

moonferret · 26/11/2011 05:37

No, still awake izzy...
Still trying to make sense of your last post...

izzywhizzysmincepies · 26/11/2011 06:11

Coffee, moonferret? Here you go Brew

If you're referring to the enema, Barreal is a noted inmate health expert as can be seen from her contributions to a recent post titled 'I can't get over my husband's belly' or some such wording.

Enemas are apparently the way to go (no pun intended) and, as Barreal enthusiastically promoted them as a panacea to all ills, I merely wondered whether they could cure the OP's lack of feeling if not her syntax.

Have you ever had a coffee enema? Or a tea one?

moonferret · 26/11/2011 06:15

I actually meant the post prior to that, about the hehe's and haha's. But no, I haven't, maybe you can tell me more while I continue to ponder the OP's predicament.

izzywhizzysmincepies · 26/11/2011 06:59

Oh, you meant the ha ha's and the he he's... they seem to be an affectation of the OP, perhaps to denote how amusing she finds her observations or perhaps as a form of nervous self-deprecation?

While the coffee enema reference may be appreciated by certain mumsnet regulars connoisseurs, the reference to the ditty is self-explanatory providing that the OP's contributions have been read.

Anyone wishing to see the lyrics in full need only google 'they're coming to take me away ha ha', at which point the men in white coats will fall into place - or arrive.

izzywhizzysmincepies · 26/11/2011 07:03

Here we go, moonferret. The elephant in the thread room, with no disrespect to buzzcock's dh:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1347291-Just-cant-get-over-his-beer-belly

Conundrumish · 26/11/2011 13:24
Biscuit
AbbyAbsinthe · 26/11/2011 13:58

What the actual fuck is this thread all about? Confused

OP, you sound like a sorority girl writing to her friends at home. In my serious opinion, you seem to be looking for validation to cheat on your husband. On the other hand, you've made it all up.

Either way, have my first ever Biscuit

FabbyChic · 26/11/2011 14:15

I dont think English is her first language hence the way she has written her OP.

LittleWarmHouse · 26/11/2011 14:28

OP if you are real and this is your family then you might want to get the thread deleted as you have named yourself and your husband and SIL up thread.

You sound very young and very unhappy.

Good luck with it all

bubblechristmaspop · 26/11/2011 14:34

I can't figure out, if you are just really young. or that's the worst excuse I have ever seen for an attempt at a novel Hmm

New posts on this thread. Refresh page