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Original poster

OH wants me to write him a letter?

25 replies

katiee0 · 25/11/2011 20:10

Hi, my OH asked me the other day if i had already bought him a bday card (its his birthday at the end of the month) i aksed him why and he told me not to buy him one and wants me to write him a letter instead, when i asked him what sort of letter (expecting him to say something like a dirty one please lol) but sais about my feelings???

Im not sure what to make of it, would you find this a little odd? what would you think if it was you?
thanks for reading :)

OP posts:
rightchoice · 25/11/2011 20:24

He sounds like an old romantic to me. I think it is lovely. Pour your heart out to him, tell him what he means to you. He is a rare species who wants to know what you are thinking and feeling. I honestly think it is original and after all what have you got to lose.

kunahero · 25/11/2011 20:33

I otfen write to my DW telling her how I feel about her.
Often my mouth and brain dont co-operate so writing stuff down means I can express myself so much better.

Go for it, you might just enjoy it.... get him to do the same for you.

stayformulledwine · 25/11/2011 20:35

If he is not normally romantic perhaps he is just feeling a little insecure? Either way, it's a lovely idea! Take advantage of it Smile

rightchoice · 25/11/2011 20:39

Well done KUNAHERO, for writing to your DW, I think it is an amazing idea. So many people forget to tell the person they love the most how they feel. No one can read minds, it is soooo lovely.

Flisspaps · 25/11/2011 20:44

He wants you to write him a love letter. I think that's really sweet :)

fuzzypeach1750 · 25/11/2011 20:53

My DH leaves me a love letter every morning. Really makes my day Grin

rightchoice · 25/11/2011 21:19

Lucky lady Fuzzypeach1750. You have a star.

BecauseImWorthIt · 25/11/2011 21:23

Every morning?! Doesn't it seem just a bit forced/OTT/not so special?

Lizzabadger · 25/11/2011 21:30

Choosing to write a letter about your feelings for someone is one thing.

Being asked to seems like fishing for compliments and a bit yuck.

rightchoice · 25/11/2011 21:57

On the other hand Lizzabadger, it is his birthday, and if that is what he wants for his birthday, then it would be nice to give him what he asks for. Most of us love it when we tell them what we want, and then they listen. On the other hand hope OP has something lovely to tell him of course!!! (wink) otherwise his is in for a shock (shock).

wonkylegs · 25/11/2011 22:19

Sorry my childish response would have been to give him a giant letter A ...
Sounds lovely wish I had a DH with even half a romantic bone in his body.

Graciescotland · 25/11/2011 22:25

We give each other a letter for christmas every year. A tradition mired in poverty!

PontyMython · 25/11/2011 22:34

Aww that's such a lovely idea! DH and I used to do that sort of thing loads but life as parents has distracted us. DH used to leave notes on the mirror etc.

Come to think of it he still does more stuff than I do, like making big I love you signs with the DCs for no reason. I should make more effort, he is feeling insecure ATM anyway due to health problems/not working. I think I will steal this idea :)

When DH and I first got together he was surprised to find out I'd never had an advent calendar, so he said we must do them that year despite being adults (well I was 17). He bought me a picture one and a chocolate one. But mine was better :o I got some little business-card size cards with a cloud design they were actually blank business cards I nicked off my dad and gave him one each day. On each one I wrote a song lyric that described how I felt. He still has them all 9 years on :)

rightchoice · 25/11/2011 22:51

PontyMython, he sounds lovely, make his day, send him a letter - go on!

PontyMython · 25/11/2011 23:29

I will do :) I've got him some presents but nothing big - DVDs etc that he'll love, he's very easy to buy for - but I will be writing him something. Need to find a nice way to present it and an envelope for it. We often write nice cards at Xmas, valentines etc but I want this to be different. We've had such a shit year and I want him to know we are stronger than ever :)

Proudnscary · 26/11/2011 08:23

I am not romantic so this would put me in a spin. I would be all 'What do you mean a letter, what kind of letter? Can I get the dc to write you lovely letters?' But I'm sure you are a better wife than me!

molly3478 · 26/11/2011 08:53

My husband and I have a whole record box full of the letters and cards we have sent each other. We used to buy the love is cards from the shop with the different pictures on and swap them with each other at lunch after we had wrote in them. We worked at the same place and only had to be apart from 8am til midday.

Just write how you feel and how you love them. We always used to write each other the lyrics to happy hardcore songs that are all soppy. We used to have all the letters and cards displayed on our wall in our room to. I dont think its odd at all.

Original poster
katiee0 · 26/11/2011 15:15

I just feel its out of the blue which is why i said i think its odd of him, he has never been the nice romantic type at all and come my bday christmas or mothers day i get a card from the babies but he makes no effort for me as a partner, We should have been married by now but he lost his job so that went out the window and has never spoke about it to me, no plans rearrange either even though he has a new job.he always wants me to make a big effort with his family when they have always moaned about us having children or just silly things that shouldnt be any of their business. He hates my family though never has anything decent to say about them i have stopped talking to them to stop the arguments. Now i am shocked he wants this letter from me, i dont know what to say in it, like somone has already said maybe he is fishing for compliments? Or maybe he thinks i dont love him? If anyone of us is insecure it should be me i arranged one year on his bday a dinner out with all his family, they all said they had plans and to me sounds they were just putting it off bcus i was arranging it otherwise i have no idea what i was doing wrong. in the end i asked my family to come as id booked it and wanted him to have a nice day, i did ask him why his mum did not come but i got told to shutup she can do what she likes, so since then i have not botherd doing anything nice for him which makes me think hes worried i dont love him as much anymore. Sorry for going on but i have no one to talk to about anything i suppose it helps knowing what others think sometimes.

I need a brew now ive just got that off my chest lol sorry if bored you! xx

OP posts:
PontyMython · 26/11/2011 15:24

Oh Katie :( there's a lot more to this than a letter isn't there. We are still here if you need to talk it through.

Catsdontcare · 26/11/2011 15:29

Oh sweetie, maybe you should write him a letter explaining to him what you've written here. It doesn't have to be an offensive letter, you can still express how you feel about him but I think he needs to hear about the stuff you've just posted about

Lizzabadger · 26/11/2011 15:37

He sounds awful. Do you want to stay in the relationship?

rightchoice · 26/11/2011 19:16

Katieo0 - No wonder you are thrown, here I was thinking he is an old romantic, (glad some of the other DH you all posted about are) but this one seems confused, and a bit angry if you ask me. If he hates your family and you have put them to one side for him, and he is still unkind I would say, are you sure you want a letter, and if you do do you want the truth about how I feel otherwise he might just get what they used to call a Dear John type letter - if you don't know what that is, ask your nan!!!!

rightchoice · 26/11/2011 19:19

Where did the "Dear John Letter" originate from? - Answer: dear john letters were started mainly from girlfriends to their significant others to tell them that their relationship is over. and vise versa is a dear jane .

ScarletForYa · 26/11/2011 19:23

I'm a suspicious person and when I read this I immediately wondered 'what's he up to?'

It's like as if maybe he is planning to break up with you and wants a letter as 'proof' that things were good (ie. he was treating you well)

Be careful it's not some sort of set-up. I know I do sound slightly ridiculous but in the context of your longer post I would be very suspicious of his motives.

dearprudence · 26/11/2011 19:34

That's exactly what I was thinking Scarlet - it's as if he wants some kind of evidence that he's a good partner/father, etc.

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