To the posters who helped me with sensible advice on supporting my cousin, whose mum (my aunt) is a classic narcissist. Your input has been incredibly helpful. My cousin is working her way through the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers website slowly - she is finding it painful, mainly because she recognises so very much of it. It has however given her new strength and she is now much more positive about her life. Her confidence has helped her find two volunteer positions which will enhance her CV and give her new and vital skills. Prior to accepting her mum was a narc, she would not have gone for these positions because she would have been convinced she was not good enough.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, you have helped change a young life.