Rubbish Christmas Presents

[bluedogs]

This may sound horribly childlish but I got some really shocking presents for Christmas and it has really upset me. My Mother bought me a range of body products I haven't used since going to the big school and a top that has been described as "Pat wearing for a hot date with Frank." My MIL excelled herself by getting really lovely gifts for DP and DS, then asking me if I wanted "cash or cheque". I didn't have the guts to tell her to stick it so asked for a cheque at which point she asked how to spell my name. I've been around for the last 5 years.

Add to this my sisters miserly present and brother simply transferring money into my account and I'm feeling thoroughly unloved. I hope I bought people gifts they wanted and liked. DP and friends bougth me lovely gifts so I don't know what I'm so upset by this. Its not even as if this is any different from any other year. Only difference is arrival of DS. So how do I stop getting so annoyed by this?

Maybe not everyone holds the same value to christmas that you do?

I dont know. Its irritating but im not sure its a true indication of how they feel about you as it is an indication of how their life is IYSWIM?

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I received a hideous, childish pink plastic pig table-top crumb hoover from a member of dh's family. WTF? It's off to the charity shop asap, wish I could do the same with the person who chose it for me.
It was a one-off though so don't have the overall feeling of being uncherished. Bad luck, bluedogs, and sympathies. I am careful to choose presents I think the recipients will like and it does hurt when you get garish tat in return.

Sorry, I think you're being childish.

I take it from your post that you've had a baby this year, which is maybe why you feel so sensitive about it this year - hormones are probably still rampaging, and most of us get far more sensitive after having a baby.

I know and accept that various members of my and dh's family will send us tat - my MIL's gift last year was the much derided 34 metres of elastic, and this year I had half a loofah from her. It's irritating that between them they have spent so much money on rubbish that they could have spent on decent things, or even spent on themselves, but it's a fact of my Christmas that many of the presents are crap. But my opinions and expectations for Christmas have changed since I had dd; I don't care much about the gifts I get, as long as dd is having a magical Christmas that's all that matters.

It seems to me that most of the problem you have with your relatives is their attitude, not their presents - the lack of thought, the fact that your MIL just gave you money and didn't know how to spell your name, and the way your brother just transferred money into your account. Perhaps it's their Christmas spirit that is at fault rather than anything else - and that reflects more on them than on you so maybe you can take comfort from the fact that they're a bit Bah Humbug and you're not!

Count yourself lucky. My mum gave me a top that she'd already worn. Main problem being that she has terrible B.O., so there was a big stinky guff when I opened the parcel.

I've now got used to getting rubbish Christmas presents from some people so this year, I bought some for myself! Not expensive things - a book that was on sale; windchimes; necklace from a charity shop - but stuff I like.

Along with dh's gift (always well-chosen and a surprise), it made Christmas this year.

My ILs do the same, WWB, they buy lots of what MIL freely calls 'naffy presents' (this year dh got a bag of peppercorns and I got a pack of 30 picture hooks????) which added up cost £15-20 and of which quite a few go to the charity shop.

BUT the difference is that MIL puts loads of thought into buying them, there is always a reason for it, even if it's just an in-joke. Sounds like it's the lack of thought that's hurting you here, not the presents.

I have to say though that I was the rubbish present buyer in our family this year, despite putting a fair bit of thought into it. I bought dniece and dsis watches as instructed by SIL and my mum respectively and they both hated them, and MIL hated the jumper I bought her so much she didn't say thank you! and when dh asked her if she liked it she said 'I didn't mention it because I didn't know what to say'. Next year they are all getting an Oxfam chicken and a picture of my kids.

Pooey - LOL makes my gift seems like well chosen expensive baubles. A top with BO - dear god that really is something. And yes most of you have rightly identified that maybe its the lack of thought that bothers me the most - that and raging hormones. So next year maybe Oxfam should get the benefit of my relatives cash -

Oh yes - being pregnant is definitely bad for presents IME>

Yup Anniemac you hit the nail on the head - DS got some lovely gifts. I can't fault my relatives for that - as for your approach to your family and presents - you sound like you have it sussed. Don't get dragged into and remain true to yourself. I also got a few of those pregnancy gifts for birthday etc - exactly as you say like you are too fat too carry on reading, washing, watching DVD's or any of those activities that people bought you gifts for previously.

So disappearing from the family radar and also I'm fidning not working quite tricky - a heady brew. I guess its also family is suddenly far more important becuase of DS this year than it was last. Have to take your line and recieve cheap soap with good grace and humour.

Blimey Anniemac, I certainly don't buy presents for my stepdaughter's three siblings, and her mother wouldn't buy presents for my two kids!

Why is it that MIL's are always so bad! I got a second hand paper back from mine and DS (her only grandchild) got 12 post cards - 3 of which had already been used! I mean, why bother!!
Oo must change my name back

The thing about tranferring money into our account is that we never see it.. experience it in any way whatsoever! My FIL paid some money in as a present for Dh and I and the three kids. The account was and is so overdrawn that it may as well have never existed.. except I am aware that we have 'stolen' the kids money.. and will have to make it good at some point..

The presents were quite good for us this year!

Last year I was 39 wk pg so all I seemed to get was body lotions/smellies and chocolates! Also got prezzies for 'bump', which was weird.

Ds got lots of nice prezzies this year, except for the toys from FIL, were too young for him, and some 'shoes' which are too small.

Worst present we get in our house is a glass paper weight from an Aunt - we recieve a different one each year!

My bil is awful at buying presents, his taste is shocking, so after years of these strange gifts we've learnt to tell him exactly what to buy each christmas. This saves him wasting his money and us p**sing ourselves laughing on xmas day. He once bought me an ornament with dangly legs that said 'horny devil' on it!!!!

Christmas pressies (lack of or naff) doesn' bother me partic, I get more upse if my birthday is missed/overlooked or whatever...
poor dp's birthday is on 3rd Jan and the only people who remember are his mother and my mother...doesn't even get a card from his brother and sister....

Sympathies (and Happy Birthday!) to your dh Blackduck. Mines on the 4th Jan and was usually the day to go back to school or work after Christmas

God - I love cash! But I do love buying gifts though, and I think if you have taken the trouble, then they should also, you could sell your mothers gift on ebay

Happy Birthday to you too Tinygang!

I just think it's a bit unusual anniemac, that's all. Mind you my husband's ex won't let him park on their (enormous) drive when he picks up dd, refuses to speak to me and wouldn't dream of letting either of us interact with their children, so it's a rather different situation, sadly.