Does your love for your nieces/nephews change?

[PrettyCandles]

Does your love for your nieces/nephews change when you yourself become a mum or dad?

IME, yes definitely. I still love them of course, but don't lavish as much time, affection or money on them as I have my own dc to do that now.

I agree with Celia, you attention is diverted to your own. I DO still love the though.

Yes. What Celia said. I do regret the loss of that intimacy, actually, but I don't have time for it anymore.

OTOH, you give them a cousin and it can be very rewarding watching that relationship grow

I only started to actually 'love' mine after I became a mother. Before that I was fond of them but couldn't really be arsed to engage with them to be honest.

After I had DS my view of all children changed dramatically. I became maternal I suppose. I'd walk over hot coals for them now.

What Celia said, definitely.

Interesting thread. I have 2 DC and am about to become an aunt for the first time!

I had DC before I had nieces/nephews, but I definitely really love DNs. My DB and SIL did loads with my DC before they had their own, but I know that's only because they doesn't have so much time.

I was able to put more time and energy into my nieces and nephews before I had my DC's but I love them now as much as I ever did.

I'm with Prima - I was fond of my nieces and nephews before but I couldn't really relate to them or understand their parents' adoration / anxiety / PFB-ness.

Now I've got my own I 'get it' iyswim. And I love the relationship between my dc and their cousins.

I have a dozen DNs and of those five (and one of my DC) look just like me and my sibs. The rest are little strangers. So in a way the ones that "belong" are easier to relate to than the rest. Two of my nieces are so like me I just "get them" and we share a sense of humour as well. It is a lovely relationship and gives them another adult to relate to apart from parents now they are arsey teenagers nearly adult!
Luckily for my DC they have other aunts/uncles they are close to as well.

I've got about a dozen nieces and nephews. When they were small I had a lot of time for all of them. Now they are all in their 20s, there are only 3 or 4 that I like spending time with.

One of them I'd like to slap with a very large fish - very talented but with less than zero drive and ambition

I'm the same as Prima too.

I don't live my nephews any less but I don't have the time for them that I used to. Looking back I think I was a bit obsessed with my elder nephew, he was the first baby in the family for years and I used to pop in and see him almost every day as I worked nearby at the time, must have driven my SIL mad with hindsight .

It took me a long time to conceive so I think all my maternal feelings went into him, then my twins were born and I do feel I 'dropped' my nephew, still feel guilty about it ten years on but I just didn't have the time I used to have.

I was always very close to my niece (more so than my nephew) and particularly as my sister died. I never thought we would be distant to be very honest but here we are, another boyfriend on the scene and she never calls, hardly visits so, although I will always love her, I'm a bit jarred off that she doesn't seem to be able to have a relationship with her auntie and her controlling twat of a boyfriend! Just wanted to let off steam a little.......

My first 2 nephews were born long before dd, and I took days off work to attend parties, babysit, and always spend loads of effort on birthdays and Xmas. The 3rd one is 6 months older than dd, and I have had MUCH less to do with him. Though we moved abroad when dd and dn were both 2, we see a lot of them. Strangely dd isn't that close to him - she plays more happily with the middle one who is 3 years older.

Unable to be as giving with my time as i did pre ds, but they still know i am here and i do TRY really hard to spend time with them, make special efforts on birthdays & Christmas for them.

I do however adore the bones of them still, that hasnt changed

Thanks. I deliberately tried to phrase my question very neutrally, because although I assumed that aunts and uncles would naturally have less time to lavish upon their nephews and nieces, I wondered whether the nature of their affection would change. It's interesting that some of you feel greater l

(Oops)

It's interesting that some of you feel greater love despite having less time for them. Equally interesting that nobody says that they love their nieces/nephews less, now that they have a son or daughter themselves.