is it me? or am I just unlucky?

[crispycat]

I dont know whats wrong with me, I have had 3 very bad experiences with close friends. I have come to the conclusion I must be a real bad person.
They were all very nice to me for a few months and I became very close to them and thought they were very good friends. One by one they have turned on me, making me out to be nuts or nasty. I am neither of these, I just carried on being a good friend. I am not perfect of course and make mistakes but never anything with malice.
It must be me right?

Have you given any thought to the idea that you might not have the best judgement of people and potential friends? Are you very accommodating and helpful? Do these people focus on themselves a lot rather than paying attention to you? It sounds like you haven't known these people for very long and you might not know what they're really like. Just a thought.

Hmm, more detail needed. But the very fact that you're questionning 'is it me?' suggests you're not nuts or nasty, just maybe a bit gullible too nice.

It could just be bad luck. But the frequency of it happening suggests it is more than a coincidence.

It could be that you (subconsciously) choose friends who will treat you badly. It seems from the timescale you give (a few months) that your friendships become intense reasonably quickly, which may be part of the issue.

Ask yourself this:

When a friendship ends, does the other person always give exactly the same reason?
How many friends do you have that you have known for longer than five years?

Are your expectations for friendship reasonable? Do you expect a lot from your close friends, or conversely, are you prepared to do most of the running in a friendship?

Definitely more information needed. Do you perhaps have different ideas on friendship to these people ie you want a lot of time and closeness and they find you too needy? Do you have unusual religious or political views that you like to air?

I feel the same at times OP. My 'real' friends reassure me that its not me, its them & that helps.

I do like making friends and wonder if I didn't try to make new friends I wouldn't be in this position so often. ie when you get to know each other a bit better & find you're not so well-matched.

I think I'm not a very good judge of people, and that makes new friendships tricky, most of my good friends are people that I did not think I liked when first met, so my first impressions must be wonky.

I have come to the conclusion I am too nice and sometimes people take advantage. I cant change who I am though. I like being nice to people and helping them out because I always thought thats what makes a good friend? I have never slept with anyones husband, been rude, too needy or slagged anyone down.
I am a very happy person and the people I was freinds with had many many issues in their life maybe its jealousy?
It seems as if one "friend" in perticular has a grudge to hold as although I have just ignored her threats and not been provoking her in any way she still insists on causing me trouble. can people just be evil for no reason?

Not for no reason, no. But that doesn't mean you have to tolerate it if the behaviour is damaging to you.

(and by "reason", I am thinking more along the lines of shitty childhood or personality disorder, rather than anything you might have done to "deserve" ill treatment, as no-one deserves to be treated badly.)