I can't seem to say or do the right thing anymore..

[MrsBoo]

I just need to tell someone all of this, and I'm not great at talking about my feelings to anyone. I don't have any close girlfiends, and in family we don't talk about important stuff!
Me and DH have been together about 13 years, and have one DS (6) and DD (2). We also work together every day, as we own our own business.
Recently i seem to have got over sensitive, so for example, if DH asks me what where i went after work (i left 30 mins early), i get annoyed. Or at the weekend, he was taking DS to out for the day, but on return he wanted to know where me and DD had been, what we had for lunch etc etc.
To make thinks worse, i have completely lost any sex-drive i ever had. DH keeps on trying, which just seems to make it all worse.
I have tried to take up a new sport, as we used to be in the same sport too. I think i probably need to spend some time on my own, or with other people. I think we spend too much time together.

Anyone in a similar position?

Not in same position but i think perhaps rather than checking up he is just maybe trying to open up an avenue of conversation with you.I know you might not think it but could it be that he is a tiny bit interested in where you want what you did are these the questions you might ask him if it was him gone and you workbased.I know this general chit chat is the kind of thing most of us are asking each other while we sort dinner /kids etc at end of day.I think you hit the nail on the head when you said perhaps being a bit over sensitive it sounds the case but i also think it important particularly if you live in each other lives so fully to get some seperate intrests going,otherwise you might wake up one day kids grown up business ticking over and nothing left in common not even friendswith each other.
Would you say you are a bit depresssed or just stuck in a rut i was like this when i worked from home.
jo

Yes Dh and I work together too - It can be difficult for us too - Dh finds it harder than i do

We live and work together in the same building and work very long hours so it can feel like although we see quite a bit of each other we dont have nearly enough opportunities to actually BE together.

Im a bit like your dh i think "Oh you were a long time.......... Why?" and asking far too many questions about stuff i dont really need to know about - I am learning and trying to back off

I think you need to do more things for yourself
Why not ask dh how he feels about things?

Jo, i think i am feeling very sorry for myself. And someone probably needs to tell me to grow up, or snap out of it. Or count my blessings...
BBBee, working together is very hard some of the time, it's a small company, and we need to share a lot of our work day too.
thanks

Ok when i got like this and i so think you are like i was I let myself stew for a day or 2 just for the hell of it then i got a pen and paper. I had 2 headings
what is important
and what isnt
So i sat and thought hard about what was important enough to me to work on and what wasnt and i took the very smallest things that needed change that took minimum effort.By making small changes and improvements i got confident enough to make some bigger ones.The thing is when you are way down everything is a big big effort am i right?
These are some of the things wrong with my life last year
job i no longer liked
no motivation
lack of sex drive
not gettting on with anyone
no confidence.
I decided i didnt want to live like this anymore so i chucked my job in.
I had my long hair cut shorter-very liberating.
I took more time to be with family
Slowly it all came together and i did it i have a job i adore a family i adore much more confidence in myself.
Every minute you spend on your life plan is really important remember little changes first CAT me if you ever need.

Thanks everyone, you're all so kind, it's making we want to cry.
Joanna4; the list thing seems like a good idea. I can't believe you all think DH is just interested in my day, it really freaks me out, and then i get all defensive, and then he shouts at me! I must admit i haven't been seeing it from his point of view very much.
Work is very stressful at the moment, and we always seem to be talking or arueing about it, even about the non-important stuff. We are trying to find a way that i can reduce my hours a bit, so i have a bit of spare time for myself.
I am going to watch some TV or read a book, and try and relax a bit - and not try to be the perfect woman.
thanks

Mrs Boo that is the most sensible thing you have said all thread lol now go do some non perfecty woman things and when you get a bit off on one come back and read this thread again.
May i recommend the shopaholic books and anything in a bottle with stowells on it as a good starting point.xx

Dh and I worked together for 5 and a half years - it was our small business, and half of the time we were in the same office. We were always happy before we started the business and argued very little, however, since the company was founded, there were endless arguments, resentments and conversations about staff, who did what wrong, how it should be done, with even more conversations about new moves in the company to make it better / bigger. I think I even posted recently on these forums about our strained life working together. Few times I even "quit" and was at home having few days to myself but that didn't really work out as as soon as he walked through the door I'd be asking how the business was that day, what happened etc.? As we had two shops at one point, it was impossible for me to switch off - even for few days. We have a dd who's 2.5 and some of the arguments were about not spending enough time with her (she goes to nursery) and considering it was our own business, not being very flexible about our time and not having enough fun (let's face it, flexibility is pretty much why people have their own businesses - right next to having loads of money). Basically, for us, it was worse than working for someone else! There was no such thing as holiday - let alone 20 days per year... So you can imagine the situation. Just before Xmas, we decided that w were either candidates for divorce or in order to save our marriage and our sanity, we stop the business. (Un)fortunately for us, as we were dealing with DVDs / CDs / Games etc. - the market for such items became very much dead - and we were forced to go into liquidation. We thought it was going to be hard - but it has changed our lives - we have had fabulous Xmas - spending every minute with our dd (unlike previous years where we had to work on Boxing day or whatever)... We feel like we just started living! Got well deserved rest and are now trying for a baby no. 2! Dh has even sorced some contract work (web design) which will see us through nicely
By all means, I'm not suggesting you close your company but simply saying that working together rarely mix and providing you're a strong couple, you both need to take some time out away from business worries and issues - maybe a little on your own, and if you can, together... I hope it works out for you as it did for us

Mrs Wood
Your situation sounds just like mine. We seem to work so much, that i have forgotten what it's like to have a day off. Or what to do when i have a day off. I am sorry your business had to finish, although it has benefitted you in many other ways. I agree people think when you're working for yourself, it will be more flexible! I wish!
At the moment spending less time at work is not an option, but we are going on a trip later in the month (OK so it's a business one, but it's better than nothing). Although last time i went away without the kids, i couldn't think of anything to talk about.
I think we need a holiday, but at the moment my DD is a bit of a handful (but that's another thread!) - so don't think it would be an option. Do you know what i would really like is a holiday or weekend on my own, with a selection of good books, and no-one else. Is that weird?