is it to late

[suze21]

I don't even know were to start. here goes my ex was a complete t^&t and finally got sent to prison. He was in prison when I was pregnant through the whole of my pregnancy. 2 days after the baby was born he was arressted again and bailed to return to court. He was then sent back to prison. The day before he went back he came to my house to see the baby. He was trying to be nice to me and I told him it didn't work anymore and the relationship was defenatly ovver. He tried to kiss me and I pushed him off. He started saying he'd been talking to his friend about how to win me back and his friend had said when ever him and his girlfriend break up they always have break up sex and then get back together. I told him it wasn't that easy and had been through to much. he then again started trying to kiss me and ther was a struggle htried to pull down my trousers. He stood up and started waggling his thing about I was shouting at him to leave and he quickly pulled down my trousers and tried to have sex with me. I've always considered my self quite strong but could not get him off me. I head butted him and he stood up laughed and said see you when I get out. I was so ashamed and embarressed I have not spoke about this since and tried to block it out. he has been released and harassing me ever since. I have moved on but he wants access to my boy. he has been arressted several time since his release for harrassing me I have moved away he doesn't know were i live and have a restraining order against him. I thought I'd got over what he did and am not sure if its rape. I thought I'd pushed it out of my mind but can't seem to get over it. Is it too late to tell anyone? He is fairly close to getting contact with my boy through the courts and am scared no one will believe me and think i'm only saying it to stop the access he may get please someone help he's still ruining my life

I don't think it is too late to report this. I think you have to do something to help yourself get over it, and to keep this violent man away. I think as well as the police you should consider counselling . I am sorry you have been through this, he sounds like a real git and I understand why you don't want your son to be involved with him.

It is most definitely attempted rape, and him pulling at youir trousers and man handling you is assault.

I would visit your GP and ask to be referred for counselling, it sounds as though this has affected you emotionally and mentally and you need help coming to terms with that.

It is never too late to speak up, do you know what his previous convictions are for? His nonchalant attitude would make me think he has done something like this before and he may well have previous assaults on his record.

do you have a solicitor? certainly sounds like attempted rape to me but not sure how likely it is that you would be listened to (though you should be).

Are you doing anything about the harrassment? I would definitely contact the police about it and keep a record of everything.

I think perhaps this might be better to be moved to relationships. It isnt an AIBU, because you are most definately not being unreasonable, and nobody will think you are.

Suze21 - please stop posting this in multiple sections.

I've made an appointment with my docter and have my health visitor coming this week so I think I'll try and talk to her about it. I am doing something about the harresssmnet I moved and have not had any bother yet as he does not know were i am. I put it in relationships as well wasn't sure were to post. And to DSM I'm new didn't know which section to put it in what a charner you are

No I don't have a solicitor

Sorry his Previous convictions are for drink driving, drunk and disorderley, ABH, GBh, Theft, Possession, Harressment

Well in future I would suggest choosing one section and take it from there.

As I said on the other thread - this want rape, it was attempted rape, be sure not to accuse him of rape when it never actually took place.

Obviously you should have reported this at the time, I'm sure you know that now. It is understandable why you didn't. But now you need to.

I appreciate you are new so will take the charmer comment as compliment rather than slur.

Yes I know I should have reported it at the time. It was nearley a year ago now, I'm frightened of reporting it how can I prove it it would be my word against his. And yes I will stick to one section in future

OP, sounds like you're going through hell, sorry to hear this. One thing I did think of... how likely is it that your ex will actually get access? If you report him every time he hassles you in the slightest way you can build up a record of the harrassment you've received which I think would make a fairly strong case against him getting access to his child. Judging by the list of previous convictions you've given he doesn't sound like the best influence for your child. Surely it can't be in your son's best interest to keep seeing his father?

I wish I had some advice for you though, other than keep making complaints to the police if he's harrassing you.

Thanks Head fairy it is hell. My son hasn't seen him apart from when he was first born. I have reported every thing to the police just not this. I agree its not in his best interest and he's not a good influenece. Thanks for taking your time to reply

Hi there. We're going to move this to 'Relationships', as we think it's the best place for it.

Hi
Ok Thankyou