Just wondering if anyone had any advice on this for me...
My father died over Christmas and my sister and I (his only children from his first marriage) are due to attend his funeral soon. The problem is that since he and our mother split up 32 years ago we have not had a particularly close relationship with him. In fact it has all been very odd. He married the woman he left us to be with but we were never introduced to her or invitied to visit him at their home. We saw him once a week as children (either at grandparents home or latterly in adulthood our own homes) and have been for spells over the years without seeing him much at all. We have always had a very superficial relationship - generally exchanging pleasantries and absolutely never discussing anything emotional or relating to feelings. Many people find it extremely odd that neither my sister or I ever questioned him about the situation and I don't know why we never did either but it just never happened - fortunately for him.
He never made any more effort with his grandchildren once they came along and continued to see both us and them (they're 19, 7,5 and 5)once a week as per usual. These visits were always postponed if he had anything else to do - i.e golf tournaments, holidays or trips etc. All of have always fitted in around his life most conveniently. He has never forgotten birthdays or Christmases and always gave pocket money but has done little else for us ver the years.
Although it has to be said that he has always been a constant in our lives he has never fulfilled, in my view at least, the role of a proper loving father. In short, I would describe him as a "father" but not what I'd call a proper "dad". In view of this, we don't really know what would be appropriate to write on the cards to accompany our floral tributes at the funeral. Clearly we don't want to appear heartless, or uncaring but at the same time do not feel that over sentimental declarations of love would be appropriate either. We thought about simply putting "we will miss you" but it seems a bit lame.
Any ideas anyone....?