Elderly Parent Query - Not sure where to post this

[ScarletRed]

My mother is my father's sole carer. He suffers from parkinsons and diabetes and has been in hospital since late last Friday once their GP and district nurse did a home visit to assess him but realised that it was my mother who was suffering and they realised how much of a burden he is on my mother. For eample if he falls over she is unable to get him up and if the neighbours are around they help,if I am around I try and help but I have 3 kids under 6 so I am not much help.

What I need to know for my mother's sake is that for her health and well being what does she need to do to get him put in a nursing home. Her local health authority is North Herts Trust.

Does your mum actually want him to go into a care home, or would she rather have help that comes out to the house two or three times a day?

Also care homes are so ridiculously expensive that it will be cheaper to have a live-in carer. Or even just someone who comes in during the day and leaves after putting your dad to bed early evening.

I think you may need to consider various options.

I think if there is dementia involved the local council pay. If not, they don't.
Sadly I am marking place for more info if anyone provides it

Yes she does want him to go into a nursing home and has even found one that has spaces. A live in carer is not an option - house is too small. Help that comes during the day is not an option has he needs help 24X7 - he has fallen out of bed, he needs assistance at night to the toilet etc

I don't think he has dementia I think his memory loss is just old age - he is 78.

he needs a social work assessment to see if they will fund a care home. This will be arranged whilst he is in hospital. Ring the ward and ask about discharge planninmg and request a Social Worker for the local council.

excuse the crap typing.

pm me if you want more details

Ask ward manager to refer for social work assessment/carers assessment/Occupational therapy assessment
Ask if he can have Continuing Care funding assessment in case he is eligible.
Get Independent Financial Advice re: fees.
See Age UK factsheet on finding a care home.
Look at local adult social services website to see if they have any advice re: care homes.
Check out Care Quality Commission website re: homes star rating (out of date now by 2 years but better then nothing)

Care home may be the best but there are lots of things that can be done to prevent falls in home/support mobility but may be best to go through OT/physio/ assessment SW assessment motions anyway to rule out these options especially so that your dad too has a chance to see what is realistic. this all might be shit advice sorry but difficult to give it over interweb.

by carers assessment I mean your mum as the unpaid carer

Their home has been adjusted for him with handrails, raised bed, downstairs toilet etc but my father also knows that my mother is struggling in helping him she is 75 and smaller than him and caring for him has taken it's toll on her that she is the one who needs help at the moment - she has pulled some muscles in her back and leg trying to care for him.

sounds rough :-(
hope social workers can provide some good advice

Hi there is an caring for elderly parents thread in other stuff where you would also get some good advice.

I don't think he has dementia I think his memory loss is just old age - he is 78.

I would suggest having him tested for it. (Will also help you in knowing how to cope, etc.). My mum has had dementia for about 5 years, she is 90.

My dad however, who died at 88 still had all his marbles and so did my grandad who died at the age of 94 back in the Eighties.

I was pleasantly surprised to find an Elderly Parents link, it's under "Other stuff". Still quite new (only 1 page), but it's great there's a place for it.
It helps me reading the threads, just to know I'm not alone....

Sorry I can't help you with the practicalities, I don't live in UK. Wishing you all the best tho.

yeah wot phobe said.
important to find out what is causing memory loss. Could also add to the funding case.

Mum's meeting with the ward social worker on Monday so I will get all the information into a big list for her. Thank you everyone for wll you input.