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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is this too harsh?

11 replies

hoops997 · 17/11/2011 17:06

I have broken up with DP over an issue with the way he raises his DD, she is 3 and extremely spoilt, she has had no dicsapline on her life whatsoever, so she really is a horrible child.

Anyway this weekend she threw a rather large toy at my DS' head, it missed but the intention was there, we had an almighty row about it, am I being too judgemental about his parenting ways? Any other opinions would be greatly appreciated............

OP posts:
bejeezus · 17/11/2011 17:31

I think that is reasonable. I had to let a friendship go for similar reasons. It's a really hard thing to get around I think, especially if your own child is getting hurt.

purplepossum · 17/11/2011 17:35

How old is your DS?

buzzswellington · 17/11/2011 17:59

If you think your dp's three year old is horrible, then yes, I think it's better you break up.

izzywhizzyspecanpie · 17/11/2011 18:08

I've never encountered a horrible child of any age although I have met a number whose behaviour leaves something to be desired.

In what way do you believe your ex-dp's parenting ways are deficient? Although, of course, this issue is no longer relevant given that you are longer in his or his 'horrible' dc's life whch is, no doubt, in the best interests of all concerned.

ditzymitzy2 · 17/11/2011 18:25

can a 3 year old really be a horrible child?

more like has incompetent parents/step parents

squeakytoy · 17/11/2011 20:01

I think a 3 year old can be really horrible, but it is almost always because of shite parenting and a lack of discipline and boundaries.

It is not a harsh decision really. You dont agree with his parenting, you have your own child to think of, and he certainly doesnt seem to be the person who you would want to have more children with either, so there is no mileage in the relationship.

ImperialBlether · 17/11/2011 20:03

You're right to dump him. For one thing, it's more fair to his daughter, if yu dislike her. For another, your son shouldn't be brought up by someone who's just proven he can't bring up his own child properly.

stayfornoone · 17/11/2011 20:06

How can you dislike a three year old? Its hardly her fault if she is difficult. Is he totally unapproachable regarding advice with parenting? What did he do when his child did that?

ImperialBlether · 17/11/2011 20:16

It's quite easy to dislike a child who's been brought up without any boundaries, stayfornoone and who is allowed to batter anyone she wants. That's the terrible thing and the reason she should leave her boyfriend.

stayfornoone · 17/11/2011 20:24

I have never experienced it myself thats for sure Hmm batter is a tad extreme! Three year olds are still really impulsive.

I do agree however that if there is no talking to the DP and he wont set boundaries for his child, then yes, its a reason to split.

Original poster
hoops997 · 17/11/2011 20:43

Thanks for your replies, was thinking I had been very harsh but when you put it like that squeaky it does seem to be the right decision....

I have read on here about step mother hating their DSD and really didn't want to be that person posting in a few years time, thought it better to nip it in the bud now, never mind onward and upwards!!

Thanks lovely Mnetters :)

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