Sexual problems with DH - have absolutely no idea how to resolve them.

[LadyFrancesMountingCockburn]

A bit of background.
My husband has quite a small penis that he has negative feelings about. He claims since he was circumcised as an eight year old it has desensitized it. He didn't experience his first orgasm until in his mid- twenties as 'it didn't work'.
He had two sexual relationships before ours, both of which he claims he never orgasmed through sex. He has rarely managed it within our marriage and instead manually masturbates himself afterwards.
I find it all a bit odd.
I have had very good sexual relationships in the past and find this strange.
I have tried to help him by various means interms of increasing senstivity by asking he touch himself less roughly. He masturbates harder than anybody I have ever been with. That has work to a certain extent..........
We now have an issue whereby we hardly ever have sex. He often loses his erections. Plainly he just prefers to masturbate or have me do it for him.
I just want a normal warm loving sex life. I try and make the best of myself and am not unattractive.
I have never criticised him but have been open about needing to work through this. It has now got to the point where it is eroding my sexual confidence.
Has anyone had any similar experiences? Any advice welcome.

I can completely understand you, OP. It is a long time and you've done what you can to make it better for you. It doesn't sound as though he's done what he can.

I think masturbating so furiously will make it impossible for him to have normal sexual intercourse. One thing - it sounded very, very unappealing for you to watch him do that so vigorously.

Do you have children or other reasons to stay with him? Would be happy living alone?

Oh OP, hope you sort it out. Apparently you can condition yourself to need a certain type of stimulus in order to orgasm and sometimes with young men they don't realise that they are conditioning themselves because the porn that they watch gives the wrong messages. Men who have got used to masturbating very hard and roughly get to a point where they have de-sensitised themselves and there are therapy techniques to help this. But they have to want to first.
It's the opposite to therapy for prem ejaculation and could have been exacerbated by insensitive comments by an ex partner when he was young.

My DH has a tendency to be a bit prem, but if he slips up we don't make a big deal, just laugh it off these days and put it down to losing concentration! Wish I was bit prem too though....sigh.

meant to say, we've got strategies that work for us and now it's fine to have a little chuckle if it goes pear-shaped occasionally. You can do that too, you both just need a bit of therapy to help you along.