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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

we sleep separately

4 replies

janpa · 13/11/2011 22:21

DH & I have been married nearly 20 years and are happy together, with our 5 year old DD. I feel I must let on that we have a non-existant sex-life, which has bothered me at times, but we show affection in other ways & it's not the end of the world when I consider all the good things we have in our lives. When we came back from holiday this year he had a terrible cold & cough, so we decided I should sleep in the spare room. That was at the end of August and I am still in there! The thing is we sleep better separately. I am a very light sleeper and he is a snorer. I get very ratty when I am tired and this obviously affects our relationship far more than sleeping in seperate rooms. It feels silly writing this, as the answer seems clear as I'm typing but I always feel it is a big secret that we are sleeping in different rooms. Don't even know what I'm asking advice for really! I suppose I just want others to tell me it's fine to sleep separately & that someone else does it too!

OP posts:
rightchoice · 13/11/2011 22:28

I can understand why especially if he snores, lots of my married friends say the separate bedrooms. Even if you do sleep separately it doesn't have to mean no sex. My friend and her hubby meet up on Saturday mornings for sex! Blush They are still together. Seems to suit them fine.

rightchoice · 13/11/2011 22:29

sleep in separate...

kunahero · 14/11/2011 06:45

dw and I have a dd(3). she is bf to sleep and co sleeps. Due to her being a restless sleeper and opposing sleep patterns of dw and I we have separate rooms for sleeping and it seems to work fine for us. I get a good nights kip ready for work and dw and dd get a good nights sleep too.
Sex has always been an issue for dw but we still manage on a regularish basis meeting up in my room once or twice a month.
If your relationship is strong enough it will happily survive this.
Keep talking to your dp and keep the rest of your relationship strong, happy and affectionate.

CheeseandPickledOnion · 14/11/2011 17:09

Together for nearly 7 years, married for 4, sleeping seperately for over 5 years. And we're VERY happy.

I'm a light sleeper and like the warmth, he's a snorer, fidgets, has ticks and likes it cold. It's no problem and doesn't impact our sex life.

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