Having doubts about moving in together

[doubtful]

hi all. Have nc.

Just feeling really shit. We're due to buy a house together next year, but I'm having doubts.

No dcs, been together 3 years, don't live together.

It seems like he doesn't want to spend much time with me. Saw him a couple of hours yesterday and he went out with friends. Today he called at 2pm saying he'll come over later but will call me at 6/7pm so I guess he won't be here until 8pm.

He's not doing anything, just playing games or something but I just feel so hurt. Why doesn't he want to spend a beautiful sunny Sunday with me? I usually work all weekends so I feel like weekends are precious.

All i see is couples walking around, shopping and lunching together and I'm sat clearing out stuff to keep my mind off it.

Last week I saw him once on Monday and Tuesday and that was it til Saturday. Then when I finally saw him he was quite snappy. He apologised and said people have off days.

How can we live together when he needs to much space on his own?

Sorry if it's a bit rambled.

What he's giving you isn't enough and I don't think you're even after much. Trust your instinct. Buying a house together is a huge commitment and not always easy to get out of these days. He doesn't sound like the right man for you.

You move in together at the point in a relationship when you cannot bear to be apart. That means when he can't bear to be apart from you too. My DP (now DH) told me, before we moved in together, that a minute away from me was a minute wasted. If you don't think he feels like that, don't waste any more of your precious minutes on him.

Trust me, this stage of a relationship ('courting', to use an old fashioned word) is as good as it gets - later there are mortgages, kids, and a gazillion other things to worry about. If it isn't good enough, move on.

Thank you

I told him not to come over tonight as his time alone is obviously so important. He said I need to realise he never gets time alone as he works full time in a busy office.

It's ok to spend 10hrs a day/5 days a week with colleagues but he doesn't mind going out after work twice avweek with them too. Feel so upset

Completely agree..he is treating you like a friend with benefits. My Dh wanted to spend all his free time with me, my ex however was similar to your dp, it never changed and after buying a house and feeling trapped for years I finally managed to leave. A relationship where a partner really wants to be with you is wonderful, you will feel and the know the difference. Don't settle for less.

i'm sorry. i don't think your relationship is in a fit state to move in together. you want it more than he does.

It's not even friends with benefits as we don't have loads of sex. We didn't all weekend

If it's any comfort at all, at least you're having these worries now, not five weeks after you've made one of the biggest purchases of your life and thrown all your eggs in one basket.

I know. I shouldn't be having doubts at all so the fact that I am means it's not the right time.

You have needs that he is not fulfilling, and is not willing to.

Better to free yourself to find someone who can, rather than feel perpetually passed over and lonely within your relationship.

Oh, dear, I really feel for you - but it's never going to be the right time with him, is it? I don't think he is just that into you.

If he is, and this is the best he can give............well is it enough for you?