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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Big Drunken Mistake

28 replies

Abirosie · 02/01/2006 19:37

I am so depressed, i had my christmas party before the 24th Dec. I got really drunk and i am sure i snogged one of the guys i work with.
I am married happily with one little girl.

It meant nothing but i my other collegues saw us. I am scared my hubby may find out.

Should i tell him

OP posts:
Salsa · 02/01/2006 19:40

Is there any way of finding out for certain before you do anything rash?

SPARKLER1 · 02/01/2006 19:42

Ah the good 'ole christmas drink. I'm not great at dishing out the advice to people but, if I was you, I know that something like this would be constantly on my mind if I never told dh. Choose not to tell him your relationship will suffer as he will sense something is wrong, choose to tell him then who knows how things will go. Only you know your dh.
What sort of a person is your dh? How do you think he will react to hearing about this?

HappyNewFrannyandZooey · 02/01/2006 19:42

"I am sure" sounds a bit like "I am not sure" in this context. Did you or didn't you?

What sort of a person is your husband and what is your relationship like?

SPARKLER1 · 02/01/2006 19:43

Even if you are not sure if you snogged this guy - what makes you think you may have done? Do you have some sort of feelings for him?

HappyNewFrannyandZooey · 02/01/2006 19:43

Snap Sparkler. I really makes a difference as to what you can dare tell him, doesn't it?

Original poster
Abirosie · 02/01/2006 19:44

I am certain i did it. I don't think it would go down well. We have a loving relationship, i cant believe i was so stupid. I feel physically sick

OP posts:
Original poster
Abirosie · 02/01/2006 19:45

No feeling for this guy whatsoever. I don't even fancy him. He was leaving and he kissed me first and i guess i must have been so drunk i just followed suit.

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 02/01/2006 19:48

are you sure your work colleagues aren't just winding you up? I don't think a drunken snog is that awful, and I wouldn't risk upsetting your husband for something so minor.

Beetrootoyourself · 02/01/2006 19:49

i would say nothing. remember you were drunk. and make a pledge not to drink so much.

a drunken goodbye kiss is a sily mistake.

why would dh ever find out?

hercules · 02/01/2006 19:49

I wouldnt say anything. It would cause so much upset if you did for something meaningless.

SPARKLER1 · 02/01/2006 19:50

How do you think your husband will react if you tell him? What sort of character is he? I was just wondering in case it might be a good idea to arrange for someone to be with you when you break the news and someone to look after your dd.

Original poster
Abirosie · 02/01/2006 19:50

Do you really think so. I have to go abck to work tom and face them all. I have been off work for about 10 days and its all i have thought about. I dread to think what they all will say.

OP posts:
Beetrootoyourself · 02/01/2006 19:51

why would you tell hijm. The only reason t tell him is to make you feel better certainly not him. He does not need to know.

Beetrootoyourself · 02/01/2006 19:51

go in a nd laugh it off...'god I was dreadful wasn't I' most of them would have been pissed to I guess

harpsichordcarrier · 02/01/2006 19:52

i absolutely agree with beetroot. telling him would serve no purpose except selfish ones. you must just learn to live with it.
and let time pass...

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 02/01/2006 19:53

I would have probably have said something like this...

"OMG xxxx got drunk at the christmas party and tried to snog me" (whilst laughing)

and brush it off as a drunken joke where its his fault not yours - as long as hes not the type to go and have a go at the bloke.

hercules · 02/01/2006 19:53

I agree with beetroot. I'm sure it feels a big deal but it isnt really.

Original poster
Abirosie · 02/01/2006 19:54

Cheers guys i feel better for telling somone. I dont feel like such an ogre. I love my hubby so much, i really dont know why i did it.

OP posts:
bubble99 · 02/01/2006 19:57

I agree that your colleagues may well have been too drunk to notice anyway!

IME, everyone who has had a few too many wakes up with Captain Paranoia on their shoulder and your colleagues are probably fretting about something they did/said too.

Roobie · 02/01/2006 19:58

I'm sure once you have been back to work tomorrow and "faced the music" (although I'm sure it won't actually be an issue with your colleagues, they will either have been too pissed to notice or have better things to think about now than what you did at the party ) you will feel a lot better.

Original poster
Abirosie · 02/01/2006 20:02

Yeah i hope so. The guy in question only works part time. He is also married. I don't think the people at work will forget though. They are the type to judge sadly.

God i am dreading it. My boss is a typically smug married too and she knows how much i value my relationship. I think she will be disapointed when she finds out Guaranteed she will.

OP posts:
Roobie · 02/01/2006 20:08

Oh well, you'll just have to brazen it out. Perhaps you could claim memory loss? I would probably not mention it and just wait and see if it is brought up. They'll soon get over themselves.

HappyNewFrannyandZooey · 02/01/2006 21:13

I am not sure if keeping quiet is always the right thing to do: honesty and trust are important in a relationship as well as keeping the peace. It sounds like you have built it up into something huge in your head however, so that you are probably past the point where you could say "Oh my god you'll never guess what happened last night as I was leaving - so and so grabbed me and I gave him a drunken kiss..."

Hope your colleagues are not as crass as you fear and that you will be able to put it behind you.

jasper · 03/01/2006 01:52

no

UCM · 03/01/2006 03:10

I wouldn't even give it another thought. Those smug people out there are usually insecure. If she says anything, be flippant and say 'I know, it's great that I can still pull, isn't it' and leave it at that. If she carries on then just laugh it off and change the subject.

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