How long before you dipped your toe in the water after separating?

[normaleggy]

I left my not-very-nice husband in August, and have been looking forward to spending at least a couple of years single, just me and the kids with no other complications. However I've kind of met someone that I really like. Nothing has happened, I don't know him that well but whenever we are together we have a laugh, he is really good looking, seems kind and friendly (which H was definitely not) almost seems to good to be true really. My issues are:

1. He is really fit and good looking, I am ok looking but a bit wobbly after having my kids, so does he find me attractive or just think I am a laugh?
2. Is he going to be interested in a single mother with a bit of baggage?
3. Is he likely to want kids of his own as I do not really want any more?
4. Should I just look to have a bit of fun with him and see where it goes?
5. Should I just concentrate on my kids for now and just forget about him?
6. If I do number 5, will I regret missing my chance?

I am not expecting answers to all these questions from you, obviously! I guess these are the hang ups that most single mothers have after a separation, I'm really just wondering if anybody had a similar experience and issues. What did you do? How did it work out? It's so bizarre, I had no intention of looking for anyone for a good couple of years at least, but will I regret it if I don't do anything?

Damn him!!!

Okay, if he is into you he won't mind about your wobbly bits. Really, stop worrying about that.

The rest is harder to answer!

The only way you can get an answer to your questions is if you do 4.

We all go through the same, honest. I don't believe in self imposed singledom for the sake of keeping the forms. I would say that the time is right when it feels... right.

In my case it was 6 months after the split, when I felt happy with myself and my new life.

Just go with the flow and wait to see if he makes a move.

If he doesn't that's going to be his loss but, as long as you haven't mowed him down with your enthusiasm, your dignity will be intact and you'll be able to keep him as a mate.. and he might have some equally fit mates.

Always remember big oaks come from little acorns.

I do have big oaks though Izzy

I think you're right, just go with the flow for now. I think it probably is a bit too soon really, a few months flirting, getting to know could be fun too could do with some sex though

If your oaks are where I think they are, norma, I reckon it won't be long before he makes a move unless he's otherwise engaged or into men

I could of written your post!! Its exactly how i feel at the moment( though no kids) so... Im just going to enjoy it for now... And TRY not to think too much!!!

is 3 weeks too soon?

Have you had an offer or got someone lined up gem?

As to whether 3 weeks is too soon to jump on another man's bones after a breakup, it will be if it's a case of rebounding out of the frying pan into the fire but, if not, you should trust your instincts and do what feels right for you.

August is really raw to be honest

Don't dive into anything
A rebound
I had an 'after' after my separation and he turned out to be a horrible man.

I do think that was because I was vuleranable and raw after the separation and he sensed that .

Do you just want to 'get a man' to prove you are still sexy ' to yourself and your ex or are you actually interested in the guy?

when you are ready...

for some that will be very soon, for others it will take longer. My personal opinion i that it partly depends on how 'prepared' you were for the split with your ex. In my case my marriage had been emotionally physically and spiritually dead for at least 2 years before I finally kicked him out. Most of my grieving and emotionally recovering was done whilst I was actually still married in name. I met my now DP about 3 months after I kicked my ExH out. was not looking, just got lucky... :)

Emotionally, I think I left the relationship about a year ago, after I found out about his OW. I'm fairly sure that I am ready to move on if I met someone, I think my main worry is that it's too soon for the kids if we did get on well and it got serious.
I do genuinely like him, am not out to prove anything to exh or myself really.

Then I would say go for it... kids are very adaptable - you don't have to introduce the NM for a while... and a happy mum makes happier children... Just take it slow ... ( :) )