OK, This is not an inlaw bashing thread as such because I generally get on quite well with my MIL and SIL but I think I have reached my limit today! I genuinly do not know if I am over reacting or if I do have a point so I am throwing this out to MN.
Quick backgound: MIL has brain and mouth never engage syndrome whih I have learned to live with over past ten years (although been really tough at times) and I honestly believe she has no idea that she can be really insulting. For Example, telling me that giving my 8 month old baby her milk in a bottle, is "keeping her a baby" (she still is a baby ffs!), because my cat is an indoor cat and I have a litter tray in the bathroom, by default means my house is a stinking hovel. Asking me when I plan on stopping breast feeding as she wants DD2 overnight.
SIL cannot do anything without it going through MIL. as in, if I annoy her, MIL phones to let me know SIL was offended as opposed to SIL calling me up on it herself. (SIL is in her mid 40s BTW)
Anyways as I said I have gotten used to it over the years but lately its been getting quite exhausting.
It all came to a head today, normally I try to get into in laws once a week (we live 40 miles from them) on my ONE day that is not filled with work, nursery, after school activities and such, BUT, I am 7 months pregnant, I have SPD, I am tired and quite frankly with all the normal running about I do with work school, husband using car etc I just dont have the money to keep putting fuel in my car, it was getting to the stage that I was putting anything from £60 to £80 quid in a week...alot of money for us!! So I scaled back the visits citing finances, not feeling to great etc, all truthful reasons. I would like to point out that i am in a very fortunate position in that my inlaws LOVE having the kids to stay...SIL has no children of her own and adores her neices and nephews, so even f i do not "visit", the still see the kids at least once a fortnight. (i completely appreciated them taking the kids and am not in the slightest ungrateful!)
It now transpires that every time I have not visited, in their eyes, it means that they have offended me and I dont want to visit. My MIL asked me today what they had done as it was obvious i didnt want to see them and to just tell them what had happened. My SIL was apparently in tears all day yesterday as I obviously dont like her anymore. I tried to explain again the reasons why and was just met with, please just visit SIL is very upset we dont know what we have done.
Previously I had been on facebook and had put a cryptic status update on as i didnt want to out someone I really didnt like too much....the assumed it was about them, a three day drama ensued. I tols SIL not to give my DS a giant cookie half hour before his lunch...how can I be so cruel, he is obviously hungry and \i wont refuse him food!(that one came through (MIL). I can give you heaps more but I am conscious that this has become an epic post!
I broke down today and told her that I dont think they realise that every time they do this it upsets me, I normally end up being the one to halt any drama and apologising as they always come over as being so put out but I had reached my limit today!! I broke down to DH who ended up haveing a word with MIL and basically telling her to stop being so bloody stupid and self centred, witch is pregnant, tired, working still and in quite a bit of pain!!
She called me a little later in the day about something completely different and no ,ention at all of the fight. Kids are staying this weekend and I just know that when I pick them up on Sunday, everyone will act like nothing has happened and obviously no apology will be forthcoming.
If you are still with me I salute you :) Am I being to sensitive? If you need more info (hahahaha like this isnt big enough!) let me know.
TIA