Do not understand friend...at all...

[lolaflores]

Good friend is recent new mother to DS2. She is so pleased as had a rough time getting pregnant and so on, so a much longed for child. Eldest is 5. Several times though, she has painted these word portraits of herself in the middle of her bed with kids draped over her, breast feeding, snoozing, eating etc etc. with this blissed out look on her face and waiting for a response from me. I just give her a most quizzical look. What does she want me to say? I am jealous that she is such a paragon of motherly virtue? She sort of describes herself as this sort of thing with kids latched on or hanging off her ("DD1 has to come upstairs if I am up there").

Admitted I crawled into bed with my 2dd (18 years and 4) the other weekend, but for a half an hour...not the whole afternoon. I really enjoyed it but I also enjoyed a film later on. I wasn't telling anyone with this glassy look on my face...I don't get it.

Am I being a total bitch? I feel bad for not understanding her, or just not caring that much and it means alot to her obviously. it makes me feel a bit queasy

I do know what you mean! I have a friend who home educates her DCs. She continually writes similar things on her fb updates e.g every September she writes "thank goodness I am not sending my beautiful, unique talented children to school like so many other parents are" or "pumpkin soup bubbling on the stove, DCs 1 and 2 cutting and glittering snowflakes around the kitchen table and DC 3 at a digeridoo lesson...my how rich is the curriculum at our home school academy"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is so smug and annoying and has put me right off her actually!

Yes! What is all that about?! I find it a bit needy and sad tbh. But I also think that if my friend is writing this needy, sad bollocks she must be feeling and bit needy and sad so I just beam and say, oh bless, how wonderful. Then talk about something fun.

I do. i smile brighter than a colgate advert. my first time as a parent was solo. Me and DD1 have a very close bond and we tend to be covert about it. So many people were saying "oh, she must be such a comfort" "oh she must be so spoiled with all your attention", that we went under the radar. there is a bit of jealous in here to be fair. But, with DD2, it is a similar thing. I love them both so so much, but it is kinda private. I am a bit puritanical about ... I don;t know what to call it. It isn't public displays of affection, I am a big hugger and kisser. Yet, I love snuggles with the girls....but never would dream of talking about in a conversation with another mother. I see it as family private life, and not held up as evidence of mothering or whatever.