Probably really trivial but need opinions and advice before I go mad!

[mymummyisasquarehead]

Okay, now I know I sound like a complete idiot here, but what i'm posting for is some logic and advice.....and even some blunt advice if that is what is required!! lol

I've been seeing a guy for about 6 weeks or so and we've been on 2 dates so far with another one arranged for next week. I went out with him originally about 10 years ago when we both worked together. He lives about 30 miles away.

My problem is that he gives very little away about how he's thinking or feeling about what's going on between us. When we're together, he seems very attentive and lovely. We will normally text each other a Good Morning or other such similar message. He will take hours to reply sometimes and on other occasions will reply really quickly. I know his phone is on him at all times as he has spoken about this before.

I made a mistake a few weeks ago and text him a message thatw as meant for my friend. It was about him and was me moaning about the fact that he's been a bit flirty with a girl on his Facebook. He said not to worry about it, but i'm sure it must have annoyed him.

When i've tried to casually bring stuff up about what's happening, he has ignored it completely. On Saturday night, he was more than happy to be very flirty and attentive with me via text as he'd had a few drinks.

Why do men take so long to text back and how can I relax about this so I can enjoy what is happening between us? I'd happily play it cooler with him, but don't want him to think i'm not interested!!

2 dates in 6 weeks?
It doesn't sound like it's going anywhere tbh

Play it cool. Stop texting him - if he doesn't text you, then you know he is only being polite!

Why didn't it work out last time?

In all honesty, it's very early days and I think you're being a bit needy. You've seen each other twice!

it can take me days to reply to a text

Thank you so much for your replies guys, very much appreciated :-)

It's only been 2 dates in 6 weeks as he lives 30 miles away and our work/life schedules have clashed thus far!

Last time we were together, we were both a lot younger and we worked at a holiday camp together and he left to move to Newcastle. We weren't together for very long then really.

he's lovely but I just wish he understood how it amkes me feel whne he takes hours and hours to reply. I also relaise i'm being very needy and want to relax and stop feeling like this!! lol

I'm realllllly not a psycho haha

Yeah as some on the above posts say - calm down and take a step back. If he doesn't hear from you - he will text you - and if he doesn't then - I think you've answered your own question. Let him chase you - men like to chase. Have you only been on 2 dates because of the distance between you? That's not much in 6 weeks! Don't over think and scrutinise - easier said then done, I know xx

Yes, mainly the distance and clashing work/life schedukes (he's had a few weddings etc and i've had other commitements)

I know I sound like a twat lol and i'm sure people are thinking get a fucking grip woman!! haha

Do you think men like the chase? I am relaly tempted to play it a bit cooler, but worry that might backfire terribly!! :-S

Have to agree with bluddy. A grip needs to be got. And games don't need to be played.

You've got to stop torturing yourself about how long he takes to reply. 6 weeks, 2 dates!

The problem with texting is that sometimes they don't go through immediately, and they're always there to go back to and reply to later on, if you can't be arsed, or are busy at that moment. If you want immediate responses, phone him. There's no reason he should know how knotted up you get if he doesn't reply immediately, cos it's a tiny bit over-board. Whoa there nelly.

Blummin' 'eck, OP! I'm picturing you gripping your phone in your anxious little hand, all thoughts focused on when it will beep Don't do that!! There's more to life than a text from a man, honest

Turn the phone off for a few hours. Develop a life. And please don't go on about what "men" like or do. Funnily enough, men are as different from each other as you are from me.

Haha aw I don't think you sound like a twat at all :) Sometimes, with matters of that heart we forget eberything we know and Sex and the City has taught us and we just revert to being a 18 years old again.

Yes. I think men like to feel like they have to do a bit of work. If he does like you of course he's going to text you and want to know how you are and what you've been up to. I know the waiting for the reply is SO ANNOYING! But - keep yourslef busy and on't look at your phone. Even if inside every inch of your being is trying to text him - I think in general men are attracted to a bit of mystery. See how it goes and post back either way :)

The only thing Sex in The City taught me was that I needed to be quicker with the 'off' button .

If you want an instant reply, telephone him. Texts are electronic letters - they can usually wait.

I really am honestly quite, quite normal but for soem reason am focusing way too much on this!! lol

Am going to try and not look at my phone so much and not text him back immediately etc _ I so NEED to chill out, I k now!

Hopefully, if I do that, I can relax and start to enjoy it again.

God, I hate sounding like such a bloody fool!! haha

I have just started getting to know somebody who I don't know very well but early gut feeling is good. He is better at texting than I am and always answers straight away if I text him whereas I can leave it for ages after getting one from him. I always carry my phone with me but don't like texting when I'm talking to people or in the middle of something so wait until I am alone to reply.

I do feel a bit guilty sometimes that I keep him waiting but it has made me like him even more that he doesn't seem to be at all upset by it and equally has not got into any sort of game to take longer to text back himself. I think we just communicate slightly differently but at present seem to be comfortable being ourselves (maybe that will change, I hope not).

I really am quite keen so can honestly say a delay in texting does not mean not interested. Maybe he likes to wait until he is free to give your texts undivided attention.

I believe that text messages are in fact the work of Satan, and if we could go back to the days of just picking up the phone I would be a very happy girl.

I HATE all the, " Well he took 50 minutes to answer so I better take an hour", nearly as much as I hate being the last one to reply and then never knowing when they are going to get back to you!

Texts have a horrible way of creating a false sense of intimacy imo. For example OP, you have only met the guy twice but because you are texting all the time you feel more emotionally involved than you are. If he had to ring you instead I bet you would have been on more dates than that by now.

Ehoney Do you really think a delay in texting does not mean a lack of interest? I've always assumed that it does, I would be delighted to be proved wrong

If it helps you feel better OP, I am currently going out of my mind as well. I slept with a new guy last weekend and he has text me nearly everyday since (which he wasn't before) Yet he hasn't asked to meet up again yet. I have a horrid feeling that he thinks just texting me compensates for not seeing me in the flesh. It's totally confusing. Maybe in my case his texting is indicating his LACK of interest and not vice versa?

Bold: Matthew

I am s**t at texting back straight away but really do like this guy and get little flutters when he texts me (and no, it isn't the phone vibrating :o ). I just like to be alone with time to think about what I write before sending so in my case, no, delay absolutely does not mean lack of interest. I don't know if boys are different.

Now I have read this I might make an effort not to keep him waiting so long though.

hhhhmmmm, nearly got the bold thing right.