When does a BF become DP?

[hoops997]

That's it really, when did you consider your bf to be your Dp?

I think you become dps when you live together as though married.

DP when you start making desicions together and working as a team.

when you live together like a married couple

My son and his girlfriend have been living together for just over a year - I noticed last time I was with them that they are now referring to each other as 'my partner' rather than 'my gf/bf'. Mind you, they are also saying things like 'when we get married'.

Living together for me.

What if you got married but didn't live together (or were together for years but chose not to live together)?

When you start planning a future together, I'd say.

I've been with my bf for about 2 months and I still refer to him as my bf but at a party last night he introduced me to his workmates as his partner, do some people think it means the same thing?

I'm not sure when I started...I think perhaps about 4 months in when the DDs had been introduced to him. By then we were talking about living together and how we would spend our retirement! It's been almost a year now since we met.

I was with my bf for 10 weeks and then we got engaged so I never did the partner thing. The only people I know that use the term partner are older people that have got divorced all the young people I know say bf until engaged.

Odd word 'partner'. I don't like it. Sounds like a business deal.

I suppose it depends on age. When you are in your 40's or 50's BF or GF sounds a bit twee.

Ooh no, hoops, that would freak me out! Much, much too soon! Maybe he was trying to impress his colleagues or something. Or maybe he is over-keen.

I have been in a committed relationship for eight years but we aren't married and we have separate homes, so I don't think it's relevant whether you live together or not. I think I started referring to DP as my partner after two years.

I think we didn't really start making decisions together before then, I was quite wary as I've seen too many friends make compromises with things like their career and other life choices only for the man to disappear soon afterwards.

How old are you Hoops? I think after about 30 it sounds a bit childish to say BF or GF.

My BF is a BF and not really a DP as we don't live together. But he sometimes introduces me as his partner. It just sounds more, I dunno, grown up.

T o me it means a couple where you're married in all but name, so joint finances, living together etc. I don't see it as an alternative name for boyfriend/girlfriend for older people.

What madonna said. Bf is just so schooly.

imo, a boyfriend is someone you are dating, a partner is someone you are building a life with

i think boy/girlfriend can sometimes sound childish, using partner more grown up? but agree, partner seems more serious.

'Boyfriend' may sound childish, but 'partner' is unbearably smug. It makes my teeth itch. As if being somebody's 'partner' means more somehow than being a 'boyfriend' or a 'dh'. It's really funny (in a really dark kind of way) when people here say that their 'dp' is being a complete dickhead. Come on, you're 'partners', aren't you? Aren't you supposed to be weaving lentils and living in harmony?

'Dh' is different. Because having a 'dh' is merely a matter of fact. You're either married or not-it's no reflection on how good (or bad) the relationship is.

Yeah, if I'm feeling really awkward, pernickity, and unsociable anybody who calls my 'dh' my 'partner' gets corrected. He may be an arsehole at times but he is my legally-sanctioned idiot and it is a fact that he is my husband. Not a bloody partner that I'm in complete lentil-weavery, smug harmony with. Irrational, unreasonable of me ( I don't need to be told otherwise, I know) but 'partner' does grate.

I think I switched to 'partner' fairly soon after we moved in together (though not immediately as we moved in together quite early on, after about six months, and treated it as a trial/temporary thing to start with). I also dislike the word, but he is something more significant than 'boyfriend' (e.g. we are planning a family) and we are unlikely to get married so I think I am lumbered with it. He is French, and in French I say 'compagnon' which is nicer I think.

One thing I do quite like about 'partner' is that it is not gender-specific.

I refer to my BF of 8 years as my BF and it feels stupid to do so. I don't like the word partner and he won't marry me. We have lived together for about 6 years. Husband would be so much nicer.

In conversation with friends or other people I know well and who thus know our domestic setup I refer to him as 'boyfriend' (when not using his name, obviously. Only ever calling him boyfriend would be a little odd. :o) On here, I refer to him as DP, when referring to him in a formal/professional sense (taking a phone message for him from a business or 'official' institution, to my employer/supervisor etc) I will use 'partner' - I think it conveys our actual situation better; we've been together nearly 8 years and have lived together for nearly 5 of that.

To add something positive (as opposed to a moan ), I think that in an official context- such as the tax and benefits systems-being somebody's 'partner' means actually living with them. Not 'just' dating.
So, although I have no idea why hoops997 is posting here- how could I? I would strongly advise not counting the person she is dating as her 'partner' if they are not living together and she is filling out a form to these organisations.