I made my mum in law cry

[MaryChristmas]

All I said was to back off a bit, with caring for my son. She was overriding my routing at lunchtime.
First time I ever felt the need to say anything too. I have held my tongue a few times. She is generally good though and she does mean well.
She was upset and then I felt lousy for saying anything. I then burst into tears.We both chatted and cleared the air.
Told my OH and he wasn't impressed either.Thought I was bang out of order.
He obviously wants to protect her - rightly so.
What a horrible day, wish I could turn back time.

It sounds upsetting, but I think it was really a good thing. Much better to say this now than simmer with resentment and end up hating her. And I bet she does change as a result of your conversation.
Don't regret it.

I think it is such a fine line with MIL's. My relationship was very strained with mine when they were babies because she tried to take over and I was having none of it.
I think it's good you cleared the air. It's your son and you are his mum, no one else.
I am sure things will be fine from now on.

awe Marsy!

Send her some love and light

At least you cleared the air and at least she knows not to override you which may stop these types of problems happening in the future,

You sound like a lovely daughter in law vecause you care that you have upset her iyswim

have to say i agree with aloha. you do need to tell her, and she needs to respect the way you do things with your ds.

i also think that your OH ought to be backing you up, and not getting angry with you. Of course he wants to protect her, and doesn't like her to cry... but he should be standing by your decisions regarding your son

It really is better to say these things at the time, because if you bite your tongue then it will fester and your relationship will deteriorate. Every little thing will get attached to the last little thing and pile up into a huge 'MIL problem'.

Better to clear the air now, and talk thru and move on, with her knowing your boundaries!

She'll get over it and now you've set the standard!

I with aloha (I usually am). It's not like you had a blazing row. You said what you needed to say and it cleared the air. And - tbh - your OH should back you up, or at least sympathise. If you feel the need just say next time you see her "I'm sorry about the other day - the last thing I want to do is upset you." I think it will be fine - don't be so hard on yourself.

What did you say, exactly? It's just that 'back off a bit' doesn't sound that terrible... does she burst into tears at the drop of a hat, or what?

Aww thanks.
I actually did say to OH that it's better to be honest and get things out before they build up.
And what good will bottling my emotions up do?
I did also apologise in my talk to MIL and say thay she is very good and wanted to convey my words as tactfully as possible, without upsetting her.
Knowing it would prolly upset everyone!
I really hope she doesn't think bad of me now.
I do worry what people think of me unfortunately and yes I do give myself a hard time.
So this day didn't really make me feel brilliant at all.

Ah, you'll feel better in the morning!

Well I thought I was tactful as I could be.
" Can I have word a MIL - You are so so good to me and son but can you please please try and let me deal with son a bit more, I know you it's yout nature and I really am greatful etc."
She prolly started crying cos I prolly started crying first with feeling lousy for mentioning it.
Thinking about it now.

It's all very emotional. I told my mum that she had to stop favouring ds over dd, and she cried. But she is much better now.

oppps, sorry Mary i thought you were Marsy

But same advice still applies although you may not get the 'love and light' reference

Thanks Lockets was about to see if she was on msn to ask if she was ok

Can I just point out....................... this is MARY Christmas...............not Marsy........

wondered why I had so many replies?

Mistressmary x

I knew you weren't Marsy!

i didn't know who you were!